Dildohead & Noodleshitter > Douchebag

I Would Have Just Made This a Journal, But They Say a Picture's Worth a Thousand Words and I'm Going to Take Advantage of Every One That Could Be Said

The above image consists of a passage from Jennifer Valenti's Brilliant Book "Full Frontal Feminism" pages 73-74, from Chapter Four entitled "The Blame (And Shame) Game."

She is discussing the tell-tale signs of an abusive partner and the ways they can abuse their partners even if they never lay a hand on them.

A lot of people had flamed Ashly for being a total bitch who could not understand that Edward was just doing these things to "protect Bella" because he's a "Gentleman."

Well, I guess abuse is gentle.

I mean seriously people, think about this for a second, how many signs does Edward show that fit so well to the warnings in a few paragraphs?

Resents her hanging out with friends who are not him or his sister? Check.

Fucking up her car so she can't go see Jacob? Check.

Being around her ALL THE TIME, even at night when she sleeps? Check.

Locking her up in his house and lying to her father so she can't see or talk to Jacob? Check.

Having his sister monitor the course of her near future all the time? Check.

Constantly trying to pressure her into the decisions he thinks she should make regarding money? Check.

Bella being unable to function once he is gone? Check.

Manipulating and controlling the most trivial things (like who drives) even against her will? Check.

Trying to make her have an abortion against her will? Check.

Reluctance to give her vampire powers (something tells me that saving her soul was not his only motive in this)? Check.

It all fits into what is written in that book.

And there are those who actually just thought we were pissed because we were "feminist women." I can't imagine what they'd say to this.

Well, what about wikipedia's page on Domestic abuse, especially under emotional abuse? Link!

Same thing!

Oh, ut then, you think I'm just looking for something to bitch about, don't you? I want to hate on a romance and I have no idea what fiction is. Because that's another thing, isn't it. It's just fiction! It can't do any real harm! It's not real! Just fun! It can't cause any problems because it's just a book, right?! It won't have a bad or damaging influence. Because it's fiction, we're just being stupid and bitchy, right?

Ok, so yeah. Bella and Edward are imaginary. But that doesn't make it okay or safe.It DOES have an influence on girls my age. And the thing is, it has nothing to do really with Bella. She really doesn't matter despite being the narrator. No it's all Edward.

Yes, I've heard my girlfriends, ones I know to be fully against sexism and such, actually say to each other, "Well, I think Edward is the most perfect boyfriend you can have. I want to have a boyfriend just like him."

Oh, but they don't mean abuse!

Of course not! Because they really are not aware of the damaging effects having a guy like Edward as your partner could do to them. They, like Bella, are "dazzled." And since they will see all the extreme behavior on their boyfriend's part to just be "gentlemen who want to protect them" initially, then they are going to be unaware of the danger of it until true damage is done because they think that sort of relationship is beautiful. They want an Edward, and they might just accidentally get a less sparkly and immortal one.

Oh, and also? It's not just the girls my age who fall for this crap. Oh no. Their moms do too.

In Time Magazine's "Most Influential People" article on Stephanie Meyer (because, you know, being considered that can't also be seen as evidence that these fictional books have a real impact), the writer actually asks a lot of the mom fans why they so love the idea of this sort of romance when the heroine has her oyfriend sleep with her every night behind her parents back.

"But he's perfect! He's not taking advantage of her, he's not trying to get her to have sex or anything!"

Um, yeah. These are the Moms who read the books. They are actually hoping that their girls find a gentleman like Edward too. Because, you know, he's not having sex with her, and as long as he isn't doing that, he really can't be manipulating her, can he?

Well, I'm just looking for stuff to get pissed about, right? Trying to search for every little thing I could use to support my campaign to hate on this beautiful tale of romance.

BUT ALL THOSE THINGS. THAT BEHAVIOR. HE DOES ALL THAT. IT'S RIGHT THERE. NOT IMPLIED. NOT A JOKE. RIGHT THERE. TOTALLY SERIOUS. HE DOES THESE THINGS. WE ALL KNOW IT.

But there are people who just don't see it as abuse, you know, the young fans who want their very own Edward.

THEY DON'T KNOW.

They don;t make the connection of abusive oppression to Edward imprisoning his girlfriend in his house so she can't see her friend.

HOW?

How is it NOT abuse? How could anyone NOT know that qualifies as abusive behavior?

Because they don;t know. They don't spot it when they see it. It's not that a lot of them are trying not to, they just don't know.

Because the information is not being given. No one is informed. A man can only truly manipulate their girlfriends two ways in the public's eye: either by having sex with her or just outright beating her senseless. And if he's doing neither of those things, it's fine. It's romantic.

And mentioning the dominance he exerts, his controlling nature, well, we're just being feminists who think every time a guy gets protective it's "abuse" and the fact that Bella is absolutely dependent on Edward and does everything he says, well, we just don't like it that she's not a vampire slayer or ball-breaking businesswoman, right?

Because we're getting pissed about something fictional, something imaginary, that's why. And imaginary things don't have any real influence. Not anything lasting or too serious, right? IMaginary things can't really harm people and society, They just don't have any true lasting effect, right? It's fantasy.

Well, I know I could counter this argument easily because I know why it's wrong. But since I'm such a pissed off bitch you're probably sick of my ranting.

So I'll just quote South Park Episode 1112 "Imaginationland Part III" when Kyle tries to make the government see that nuking Imaginationland is wrong. Because it does hurt somethig that is real. And why?

"It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he--he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same can be said for Bugs Bunny and--and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life--changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary but, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around here long after we're dead. So, in a way, those things are more realer than any of us."

Yeah. Fiction has impact. Books send messages. That effects our lives. And these books could end up having an insanely damaging effect on chicks my age.

We're being spoon-fed this enforced ignorance which makes it seem like taking ownership of a person is okay as long as there is not punches thrown or sex. SEX. That's the bad thing! That's what hurts you! And identity, freedom and self-esteem is expendable, but it's when your virginity is threatened or you're actually bleeding that something is lost. ecause that's all we are, right?

And meanwhile, the ways in which we can protect ourselves are slowly being pulled from us as Government spending pays for us to make sure we know nothing about the things that can keep us from having unwanted kids and STDs, all in the name of trying to protect us from getting pregnant and having STD's. And no need to make sure we know the various other ways to protect ourselves that have nothing to do with sex, like knowing abuse when we see it because nothing's really lost. You can only lose your purity and teeth, right?

And those who are actually saying shit are icky ugly feminists who kill babies and hate men. It's really not pretty. We're just pretending these things are really still issues so we can be selfish and bitch,

And now with the selling of these books, no doubt other pieces of media will be marketed to us that glamorize the same sort of relationships to teenage girls. And it will become the norm. And The Problem That Has No Name Will Resurface. And over half our human resources will go back to being utterly squandered. And we'll just revert back to old ways. Because something imaginary has no real influence, and I'm just being an ugly man-hating lesbian with hairy legs who can't love romance. I mean, who cares what could happen, right? This sort of glamorous fairytale is still preserved for us all to pine for. We'll find love just like them and it's ok, as long as we've got our protective gentlemen and don't have be all pissed off and ugly about what we might be losing.

But no, I'm exaggerating, right? Because after all, Twilight can't truly do the damage I'm predicting I mean, it certainly has had no effect on your life, right? It doesn't suggest anything to anyone or make them think a certain ay and it's not like millions upon millions of dollars have been poured into this little series that we really shouldn't make any fuss about.

I'm sorry. I'm just sick of this. I'm sick of people getting treated badly because of ignorance, commercialism, and false morality. I'm sick of being at risk of being called a slut or a man-hater because I want to make my own decisions and want that for others too, I'm tired of people getting sick and children and their parents getting hurt because they have no idea how to protect themselves and they're loved ones before true harm is done. I'm sick of people freaking out about girls having sex so much they accept and support (wittingly And unwittingly, which makes it even more sad) the ideal of girls having nothing else but having their man controlling everything they do.

This should be laughed at, This should be stared at in disbelief. Be seen as a relic. But it's the latest young female youth craze. Their Twilight fantasy.

Related Groups: DO I DAZZLE YOU?

Tags: abuse, culture, emotional abuse, fantasy, feminism, fiction, johnnynotsid, love, pop culture, romance