johnnynotsid

                So I figured I should talk about this.

                Since, you know, I obviously haven’t said enough about this or something.

                No, I did not watch the VMAs, I had no interest in doing so. But of course I heard about The Jonas Brothers getting mocked by Russell Brand for their Purity rings and Jordin Sparks deciding to, um… I guess she thought she was sticking up for someone? See, I watched the clips on youtube and while I thought Russell was pretty funny, he was not nearly as funny as he usually is and yes, it got old after a while. I couldn’t believe he couldn’t think of anything else to talk about like…. I don’t know…. Diddy’s “No Black People in Alaska” rant? I mean, I appreciate a good sex or dick joke (or vagina joke) as much as the next person, but please. The fact that The Jonas Brothers choose not to get laid is not interesting or important enough to monopolize your entire opening monologue for hosting the VMAs, ESPECIALLY when it’s supposed to be your big introduction into the US as a stand up comic. I mean… at least let that become jokes about purity in general or just the purity craze in young celebrities, period. Or the purity “trend” among teens today. I mean, Jesus Christ, if I’m not long winded enough to talk about the Jonas Brothers’ sex lives without turning it into something else, then nobody is.

                Not that Brand’s redundancy was enough to warrant Jordin Sparks’ epic show of asshattery afterwards.

                Jesus Christ.

                You’d think by now that the winner of American Idol would know enough at this point not to use a slur like “slut” on Live National TV. What a fucking moron.

                Here was her quote:

                "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut"

                Ok, I could go on again about society’s virgin/whore complex and how this just reinforces it and how slut is an extremely damaging and savage, backward term. But I’ve only talked about that about 4876439867329486395 times and at this point, even I’m bored with it.

                But there are two other things that were truly moronic about Jordin’s choice of words:

                First, Brand’s jokes were just that. Jokes. He was not criticizing the choice those dudes made (in any other form other than the satirical), it wasn’t harsh. They were sex jokes. And, I don’t know if you heard, Ms. Sparks, but Russell Brand is actually pretty well-known for that sort of thing. And I’m sorry, but anytime a celebrity is going to make some public gesture or issue any sort of statement about sex (like, say, wearing purity rings and publicly stating that you’re a virgin), it’s going to be talked about. When a person makes the decision to let the world know that sort of thing, the consequence is that there is going to be a reaction. That’s the choice any person makes when expressing their beliefs about really…. anything. It’s great that you’re proud to be a virgin and all, but when you let the world know about, don’t go getting all upset when someone says something about it that isn’t high praise. A few jokes? Those are not put-downs. All the dude said was that those three dudes could get any girl they wanted but choose not to take full advantage of that sexually……. He just made it kind of funny.

                To be fair, The Jonas Brothers (from what I’ve read) have actually handled all this pretty reasonably, even before this whole Russell Brand thing. They actually have not once openly complained about the public interest in their purity-ring thing. And they didn’t take offense to Brand’s comments either. Maybe because they’re mature enough to take responsibility for their decision to publicly voice the state of their sex lives. And while I still can’t stand their music or their whole Disney-endorsed image, I don’t have anything bad to say the dudes themselves.

                Jordin, however, even though she wasn’t the target of the harmless jokes, even though it really wasn’t any of her business, felt it would be a good idea to shoot her mouth off like that. Okay, for one thing, if she were talking in a rational tone in some interview or something about the benefits she feels she’s received from staying abstinent, maybe even saying that she doesn’t get all the cynicism about it or something; I would not have a problem. As long as no one is holding it up on a pedestal as the only right choice and it’s made by the person themselves purely for themselves and no one is looking down on anybody for making a separate choice and there are no borderline-incestuous-ownership-ceremonies involving anybody’s dad and everyone knows about safe sex, then I’m fine. Go ahead. Don’t have sex until marriage or at least try not to. If that’s what’s right for you, then thumbs up. Fantastic.

                But that’s not went on here. Instead, Sparks went off the record to whine about some truly harmless and stupid  quips that didn’t involve her (seriously, does she think that any teenager intending to wait for marriage changed their minds because they saw Brand’s monologue? REALLY?) and then utter a slur in such a manner that (whether she meant it or not) makes a sweeping and insulting generalization while reinforcing outdated, ignorant and dangerous stereotypes. I mean seriously, what kind of true Christian would say something like that? I have a hard time understanding how  someone that has such true confidence in their pledge could take offense at some comedic babble about OTHER PEOPLE. Purity-cock-ring jokes do not devalue the decisions a person makes regarding their sexuality unless that person is REALLY INSECURE. It’s not like he was ridiculing people who make that decision or that lifestyle. He wasn’t making broad, negative generalizations about people who make certain life choices, which is something I think Jordin Sparks could take a lesson in.

                There’s also a problem I have with the statement itself. "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut." Um, ok, taking a chastity vow will not prevent that person from having sex or becoming a “slut.” The amount of kids who make that exact vow and then eventually engage promiscuous sex is staggering. Nobody wants to be a “slut.” Wearing a purity ring does not give you special Virgin Powers that guard you from slut-dom. You’re still just a vulnerable as the rest of us. Making a decision now that you don’t want to give into those urges until you're married is just the decision you’ve made now. You’re still just as likely, wittingly or unwittingly, to change your mind as the rest of us. Any study or set of statistics will show you that it makes no difference. You’re just as likely to succumb to lust as the rest of us. So the purity ring? It’s not a chastity belt. So people need to stop acting like purity rings are non-slut-sanctuaries. It’s not the vow you make on a piece of jewelry, it’s the ultimate, last-minute decision you make every time you’re in the heat of the moment.

Seriously though, I’m surprised Jordin Sparks, who is supposed to be such a big Christian, would even use a word like “slut,” especially when she feels the need to speak in defense of her own sexual decisions.