johnnynotsid

                Today Republican Presidential Nominee Senator John McCain announced his running mate: Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska.

                Governor Palin is the first woman nominated for VP by the Republican Party in US History and only the second VP nominee for a major party (The first being Geraldine Ferraro in 1984 for the Democrats). She was also Alaska’s youngest and first female governor in the State’s history. A lot of people are talking about how historic this is. Don’t forget, this has been a HUGE year for women. Hillary Clinton was almost the first major party presidential nominee, almost the second Democrat female Vice Presidential Nominee and (f she had not lost to Obama) possibly our first female president. Now the Republicans have nominated a woman for Vice President.

                Big deal. Just a few nights ago, Possible Future First Lady Michelle Obama delivered a riveting speech where she acknowledged Senator Clinton putting “18 million cracks” in the glass ceiling. Even though we might not have a woman president this time, this has been a significant year.

                So now, we’ve got a big thing here. A female VP nominee on the other side. And right now my Mother, who still carries the baggage of growing up, pursuing a career as a woman (in business AND the army) in the 70’s and 80’s, is watching with close attention. She immediately started singing Palin’s praises when I saw her again today, and I know she has a high amount of respect for McCain though her vote is still in the air. And for the record, she’s a Democrat. But I can tell she’s excited. It means so much to her. My Mom has always been the most enthusiastic about the two of us being feminists. She’s been waiting for something like this her whole life.

                I was interested too. Very interested. I thought it was cool in a way, proving that women don’t have to be restricted to one party to achieve power. Also that such a staunch conservative would pick her. So I immediately went to read about her.

                I am a feminist. We all know this.

                But I don’t care for Governor Palin. I don’t like a lot of her policies and I don’t think, having only three electoral votes in her state, that she is a powerful candidate.

                I am not swayed. Because I am a feminist, I am not going to discriminate based on gender, so I am not going to applaud the nomination. For several reasons.

                On spending: While she has lessened cash flow from the federal government in her state going towards that Bridge to Nowhere, her dealings with that states money are rather eccentric. She replaced an entire cabinet board in order to keep them from dissolving an unprofitable government-owned business, which only ended up failing anyways. She later approved a $6.6 billion construction budget but then cut taxes to the point where the budget had to be reduced to $1.6 Billion

                Social Issues: She opposes gay marriage and then fought against having to sign a Supreme Court Order implementing benefits for same-sex couples. Then later she vetoed a law which stopped a state-wide ban on granting partners of gay state employees benefits. Two bad, one good. But not enough. Plus she makes the insulting statement “But I have gay friends!” Please. She’s also pro-life and anti-gun control. She supports the death penalty too.

                I’m not sure what to make of her environmental policies.

                Here’s the thing: I’m really worried about sexism taking its hold on this election. It should not matter what sex you are. I think this choice was made to sway Hillary Supporters and Reagan Democrats. The fact is, she only carries three electoral votes and she’s only been Governor for two years, the same lack of experience the GOP has criticized Obama for. The fact of the matter is, Palin is just another conservative suit. She just has boobs, and that’s supposed to make it different. I can’t say I did not predict that McCain might pick a woman to win over the women vote, but I’m surprised he didn’t pick someone more qualified.

                While I’m holding out on my support for now (though I supported Obama in the past, I have come to have some doubts), I think in  the choice of running mate, Obama outdid McCain by far with his pick of Joe Biden (the guy has a good plan for Iraq; my mom and I supported him back when he was in the main race). McCain’s choice has not made him a more appealing candidate to me.

                I really hope that nobody is swayed by this. To praise the choice because she is a woman is anti-feminist and discriminatory. While I do hope that if she gets elected that she and John McCain will do a fantastic job, I don’t think she was the best choice to make. And that’s my honest opinion.

                I’m a loudmouth and I am extremely opinionated. A lot of that could be attributed to me being the cliché teenager who thinks she knows everything, or that I’m out to prove how smart I am. But the things I’m most passionate about? There are personal reasons. I hate Twilight a lot, yes, but not just because I’m a feminist, but also because there is abuse going on in that book and I truly do know it when I see it. Trust me: I know. I won’t go into details because that would reveal bits about my personal life I’d rather not reveal to the internet community though I love you all. It’s a problem because often times, many of the things in my life fueling my fire are too personal and intimate for me to reveal.  It’s not just Twilight: It’s the whole scope of feminism, child abuse, knowing who I am. I usually try to write down what I’ve learned so far in my short life though I can’t always site the sources and I am completely aware that I am going to “learn” some things that are different later in life.

                I don’t know everything. I don’t really think I know anything. But I do think. I do imagine. And a lot of the things I think are just what works with me now so much that I accept them as fact until I can find something that makes me think different. There are times when I think I know everything, but I keep getting proven wrong.

                And usually that happens not when people disagree with me on something, but when they display knowledge which I simply did not have. It's being aware of this that keeps me from feeling ashamed of writing this stuff.

                I’m not an authority on anything. I’m not even and authority on me. But the things I write? They are not source-less. (I’m not talking works cited either).

                There was a pleasant breeze blowing in through the open window, teasing Bella’s dark hair across her face as she look out over the dark night’s sky. She had been sitting there under the guise of watching the sunset, but the final hues of ending day had long since departed and the inky black sky was only interrupted by the twinkling stars. Bella had a long history with the abyss during dark hours, twilight being the most important, but all the phases of the heavens filled her with an amazing wonder, a thrill, a sense of magic. Since becoming a vampire, Bella had made it a habit of going out as the sun was setting, appreciating it to a great new extent with her superhuman sight and senses. When Bella gazed at the heavens, she could feel herself get swallowed by them, a mystical force pulling her out and swallowing her deliciously.

                But not tonight. There was nothing, the changing colors, the visions of the sun and moon, the stars as they started to appear, none of it did anything. Nothing. Nada. The thrill was gone. No pull, no suction. Nothing. She was terrified.

                Part of it was that Bella was not sure if her reaction tonight was a good thing or a bad thing. It was certainly a change from what she had been feeling the last four months when she had stared up into space, that was sure. And she had been praying for a change. She had changed her posture, position, location and diet to try to end the sensations she was having. But this sort of transformation wasn’t the one she wanted.

                Bella had in recent months felt the same vacuum effect the night always had on her, but instead of feeling like she was reaching a Nirvana and being drawn into a loving embrace, she was struck with a sense of panic and bewilderment. The draw of the night no longer felt like invitation and embrace, it felt like capture and assault. It was as if the stars and moon had turned against her, the love-making had become rape and welcome had become a diabolical trap. She had been horrified, scared, and confused. However, she had convinced herself several times that it would go away. She loved this little routine, loved the drawing sensation too much to stop. After three months or so she admitted she could not just wat for to go away, so she decided to do something to make it alter.

                Well, it did. But now, instead of reverting back to the old trust and comfort, she felt nothing. The sky did not pull her in, not in a manner either loving or violent. She was just sitting there, waiting, looking at the sky. Nothing.

                Why? Why wasn’t it going right? How could something like that just stop? Distress enveloped her. How? Why? WHY couldn’t she do it anymore? What was going on?

                She wanted to cry, but couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, she could not cry. Of course she could not cry. How could she be so foolish?

                There was nothing to do about it, she had to talk to Edward.

                She was horrified by the idea. How could she do this, expose her weakness to him like that? Wasn’t it enough that she was already the less strong, less beautiful, less intelligent? Now that she was a vampire she had hoped she could grow to be the person Edward deserved, but no. Even as a vampire, she was still clumsy, weak Bella. She tried to hide these things from her husband most of the time, and she felt she would rather eat her own hand than expose another vulnerability to him, but it wasn’t just the sky that was the problem now; too much was off and it was only a matter of time before Alice saw something and reported it. So many things were just going wrong. She did not feel the intense happiness and hypnotic ecstasy she usually felt when looking at Edward or Renesmee. The regular guilt she felt about being an unfit wife for Edward now infiltrated her feelings for her daughter and made her doubt her feelings as a mother. However, the guilt she felt about Edward had now changed. For some reason, it was preceded or accompanied by an inexplicable sense of anger towards him. For better or for worse, depending on how she looked at it; Edward was no longer her whole world, instead she had periods where he was completely out of her mind as she sulked and dwelled on new feelings of resentment towards others in her life, especially herself. There was an emptiness, a discontent to all she did. She could not feel satisfied or enthusiastic about anything even though she had all she could ever want and all sorts of heightened senses that would make Keith Richards’ most intense LSD trip look like a black and white film. She was filled with self-hate for it. How could she be so selfish? She was mortified at the prospect of exposing her behavior to Edward, but it had gotten to be too much. Besides, what could Bella do? She hated being so useless, she could not even help herself, but once again, being the inferior vampire she was, she had to rely on her husband once again. She had to face facts: she needed to talk to him.

                One fear she had was that she knew what he would say: She was feeling like this because they were having too much sex and blame himself, even though she had been the one who instigated all the time lately. But it wasn’t because of that, Bella knew that. The sex had been a way for her to try to distract him so he would not notice anything wrong. She would hate to make him feel guilty!       

                She couldn’t tell him all of it, no she could not and would not. She’d just… trim the truth a bit. He couldn’t read her mind, so it would be easier. But at the same time, he might sense something was up. She was so transparent and he was so clever. But he probably still wouldn’t know everything even if he did guess more was amiss. She might have to take that chance.

                                ~-----------------------------~---------------------------~

                “….. It’s not like I’m unhappy or anything, I’m just not feeling as happy as I used to.” Bella’s brain relaxed. There. She watched him carefully. He looked slightly concerned, but not altogether horrified. Good. Maybe he wouldn’t feel guilty.

                “Well, Bella, you’re probably having a little PPD,” Edward said as he sat at his desk.

                Bella heaved an inner sigh of relief. He didn’t suspect she was hiding anything! Though she had to admit, PPD sounded a bit extreme.  Just like him to go to extremes when it comes to my welfare, she thought to herself. But strangely enough, she did not feel a warm rush of affection. She felt irritated.

                She stood before him, keeping a straight face. “Okay, so what do we do?”

                Edward bit his lower lip, as if he were about to say something, but held back. Finally, after several seconds, he opened his mouth. “I think, Love, that perhaps I should talk to Carlisle about this. We’ll consult each other and I will get back to you.”

                 Bella smiled. “Oh, thank you Edward. I’m sorry to be so silly, but I’m so glad you’re going to help me.”

                Edward stood up and walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. “Of course, My Darling Love.”

                For a second, Bella melted into his arms, staring into his topaz eyes and marveling at his beauty. She leaned in.

                “WAAAAH!”

                Nessie’s cries shattered the moment. Edward released Bella, causing her to stumble back a bit. When she was human, she would have fallen. She glanced at Edward to see how he took this interruption. He just smiled.

                “I am going to call Carlisle right now. So you take care of it.”

                Bella nodded and left the room for Nessie’s room. The little girl sat at the side edge of her little bed, staring fearfully at the floor. When her mother entered, she looked up and said, “Down!”, pointing at the ground and swinging her legs.

                She’s part vampire and basically indestructible, hasn’t she figured that out yet? As soon as the thought entered her mind, Bella felt guilty. She shouldn’t be so hard on her little girl! Chastising herself, she lifted her daughter off the bed and set her down. Nessie immediately took off running. Bella chased after her until they had made it outside Edward’s study. Bella stopped and watched her daughter open the door and creep in. She’d be all right with her father.

                                ~-----------------------~------------------------~-----------------------------------~

                Edward slid back from his desk so his daughter to climb into his lap. But for once, she was not the biggest thing on his mind. Carlisle was.

                “I had no idea vampires could get PPD, I mean, what with the hormones at all. But I am really worried about her.”

                “Edward, Bella, as a vampire, cannot experience Post Pardum Depression. Her hormones are no longer flowing so the imbalance that causes it cannot occur. It’s something else.”

                Edward groaned. He was not pleased by this statement, he’d be more comfortable knowing what was going on with his wife than anything.

                “What can I do then?” He asked his father. “You’re the Healer in the family.”

                Carlisle laughed. “Not that type of healer, Edward, you know that! The mind and body are entirely separate things.”

                “You’re a qualified brain surgeon.”

                Carlisle sighed. “The brain is not always the same thing as a mind, Edward, you should know that as well as anyone. This is psychological, not biological.”

                “Well, Jasper then?”

                “Edward, you know that would e impossible, it’s not fair to control her emotions or ask Jasper to do it 24/7. You and I both know what needs to be done and you’re trying to avoid it.”

                Edward clenched his teeth and fists. “No.”

                “Why not?” Carlisle demanded. “They are the ones who can help her. You’re not going to let such a thing as petty grudges keep you from helping your wife, are you?”

                “Of course not!” The only thing keeping the vampire from breaking his desk with his fist was the small child in his lap. She looked up at him, her brown eyes huge. Cautiously, Edward lowered his voice. “Of course not! I would never! I don’t want to strictly out of concern for her welfare. They are the wrong types. It would be a bad idea and just make things worse.”

                “Edward, over the past century and a half they’ve helped our kind. They have never failed. They will do what they can to help her, they’re not going to try and use it against you or anything. No matter what your opinion of them, they have integrity and commitment to their job. Bella could not be in more capable hands.”

                The vampire felt like throwing the phone across the room. He hated what Carlisle was saying. How could he suggest---? He knew how much Edward hated them , and this was his idea? Edward couldn’t--- The worst part was that his father was right: it was a good course. It was probably the right one. But there had to be other right ones! He couldn’t bear to see their smug faces. After those who threatened him and Bella, there was nobody he hated more. 

                “Listen, you either swallow your pride and take her or it will get worse. If you’re willing to gamble with your wife’s well-being over some trivial resentment, then I would be very disappointed in you.”

                Edward opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a series of beeps. He groaned. “Carlisle, can you hang on? I’ve got another call.”

                “Of course.”

                Edward switched lines  and with a good degree of impatience said “Hello, Alice.”

                “Edward, if you do NOT do what Carlisle says, then I will take her myself.” She sounded furious.

                “How is it any of your business?!” Edward spat back in disbelief. “It’s none of your business!”

                “EXCUSE ME?” Alice roared. “NONE OF MY BUSINESS? ARE YOU CRAZY? BELLA IS MY FRIEND AND SISTER. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT HER, YOU JERK, AND IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LET HER GET HURT JUST SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AROUND SOME PEOPLE WHO ANNOY YOU THEN YOU ARE LOWER THAN SCUM.”

                “Alice, how dare you? You have no idea what I’m going through, it’s enough without you trying to meddle!”

                “Oh, you think I’m meddling?” Alice said in disbelief. “How do you think I knew what was going on, Edward?”

                His blood turned to ice. “You saw something.”

                “Yeah, buddy, I saw something, and if you don’t do something you’re going to regret it.”

                “What do you mean?” Edward replied with sudden fear. “What will happen?”

                “I’m not going to tell you. You need to be uncertain about this or you will never be able to help her. Now plug Carlisle in.”

                Edward switched the settings to conference. “Carlisle?”

                “Yes Edward, I’m guessing Alice saw something?”

                “Yeah….” Edward took a deep breath. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen but Alice has left me no choice. I’ll do it, but only Stoker, he has to show up here, and Alice has to be present for the first session along with me.”

                “No, Edward, you need to give Bella more of a choice, Stoker and Lioncourt should be there on the first meeting, and while I don’t know if they’ll make a house call for her first situation, they definitely won’t for every one of them. Therapy should have privacy.” Carlisle’s word made Edward feel nauseous.

                “I’ll tell you what,” Alice piped in, “I’m cool with them, so they’ll make the house call the first time, but I’ll definitely be there for the first session. If you like, I’ll even take Bella there in the future so you don’t have to anymore contact with them than absolutely necessary.”

                “…..Fine.” He struggled to get the words out.

                “Can we talk to Bella now?”

                “Can we talk to Bella?” Edward asked suspiciously. “Why can’t I just do it?”

                “Because we’re worried you’ll make it sound too negative.” Alice answered him honestly.

                “So you’re willing to let her have hour-long private sessions with people I loathe but you won’t let me have a private five minute conversation with her?”

                “Edward, just do it.” Carlisle said, slightly irritated.

                “Fine, just a second.” Edward pulled the receiver from his head. “Bella, Love, can you pick up the phone? Alice, Carlisle and I want to discuss something with you.”

                “Okay.” Half a second later she was greeting Carlisle and Alice over the line. “Hey Carlisle! Alice! How are you? What’s going on? Did Edward tell you?”

                “Hi Bella,” Carlisle replied in his kind voice, “We’re fine, and yes, Edward did tell us. So you’re feeling a little under the weather, huh?”

                “Yes, a little bit. Do you think it’s PPD?”

                “Vampires can’t get PPD, Bella. We think it’s psychological though.”

                “So what are we going to do?”

                Edward cleared his throat. “Well, Bella, we all think you should see a therapist.”

                The young vampire snorted. “HOW?! I’m not human, remember? How can I tell them anything?”

                There was a pause as they waited for her to figure it out. But after several seconds, Alice just explained it to her.

                “Well, Bella, the fact of the matter is that due to the possible psychological strain that can come with having to live outside regular society, live forever, and thirst for blood, a couple vampires decided to try and help us with them so we don’t all go insane and kill ourselves. So you see, there are two vampires who are psychoanalysts, they’ve been doing this for about 160 years and are spectacular. One of them, Dr. Lioncourt, she gave Freud a ton of his ideas.”

                “Though you probably won’t want her.” Edward cut in.

                “Stop it, Edward.” Alice said. “Bella, we really think it will be good if they came to your cottage so you can meet them because they will almost definitely be able to help you. I’ll be there for the first one, if you like, and then you can get to know them and start going to see one or both of them regularly.”

                “How do you feel about that Bella?” Carlisle asked.

                “Oh, I don’t know. What do you think, Edward?”

                “Well, I’m not as enthusiastic about it as Carlisle and Alice, but this is not my decision. Perhaps it would be good to try.”

                “Ok, cool, I’ll do it, but it doesn’t make me crazy, does it?”

                “All vampires need to do it from time to time Bella, you’re no different.”

                “Alright then, I’ll do it.”

I’m calling it “Bella Does Therapy” where Edward is convinced that Bella has PPD because she has been having this weird feeling that “something was wrong.” There are TWO vampire therapists (vampires need therapists to help deal with the strain of living forever), Dr. Bradley Stoker and Dr. Buffy Lioncourt. She ends up learning all sorts of things about her life, relationships, and state of mind.

                It amazes me even today how backwards and sexist our society is. It’s insane. Meanwhile people are saying feminism is irrelevant and God I wish they were right but unfortunately…. Not so.

                There is a plague on America today which has had and continues to have a horrible effect on women today. It’s the whole idea about sex that people have, particularly when it comes to girls.

                Promiscuity really is not anything that should be promoted. It’s dangerous for many reasons, and can be very irresponsible. We know this.

                Yet, the insanity and various messages that surround this disgusts me. With one hand society capitalizes on women with nothing to offer save for their bodies, and with the other, we put the idea of virginity on a pedestal as the only truly pure lifestyle whilst condemning any show of sexuality as being whorish or slutty. Though thousands of people pay to exalt the sex-based intellectually-drained products and people publicized by the media, we also seem so afraid of girls becoming part of it that we condemn not only the products but any sort of sexual interest or activity in women in general. It’s insane.

                Let’s face it, being a stripper or prostitute is definitely not an occupation to aspire to. We know that. In fact, we browbeat that and pervert that ideal into damaging and repressive attitudes and efforts. As a result, if a woman wears something slightly revealing (especially if she is young), we call her a slut and a whore. Someone dirty, wrong, and evil.

                We fixate on virginity like anything else is impure or bad. We even refer to it as “purity,” branding sex as dirty and impure. Yet, while we for the most part neglect to give a rat’s ass about the so-called “purity” in males, we insist upon it for girls. Let’s face it, the importance of virginity has always been pitched to young women in ways it never has been to young men. It’s as if women having sex is what’s impure, while men doing it isn’t. Even more so, there is an attitude that not only is a girl only supposed to be a virgin, but that her sexuality should not even fully belong to her, but to the most prominent man in her life, even today.

                You think that’s bullshit? Think that just because girls are allowed economic independence at adult ages as well as legal independence, that just because arranged marriages are now frowned upon in western society, that women are no longer legally anyone’s property that it isn’t true? That I’m just flying off the handle?

                A growing trend among many evangelical groups around the country is the “Purity Ball,” a father-daughter dance during which the father and daughter make vows to each other; the daughter vowing to remain sexually “pure” until marriage, giving her body to no man but her husband and to look to her father to be the guardian, guide and protector of her body and soul until then. The father makes a vow, promising to cover their daughters as their authority and protection over their purity and be an ethical leader of their home. Most of the time rings are exchanged and wedding cake is served. The daughters involved in these events are usually meant to be around an age where they menstruate, but oftentimes daughters  as young a seven attend and make the same vows.

                 Mothers may attend these events but they have no vows made to them and are only there for support, if the father is absent another prominent male figure in the girl’s life is meant to stand in. These events are not only designed to promote sexual “purity” in young women but encourage father-daughter bonding (I’d like to note here that my Dad has had active relationships with my sister and I our whole lives, usually bonding with us by coaching several of our sports teams, attending dance recitals, teaching us to fish, taking us to baseball games, engaging us in political and historical discussions and attending school events.)

                There is no event like this for sons.  Sons don’t have dances like these with their moms and they are not expected to make vows like these to either parent.

                Here are the vows Fathers give during the Purity Vows:

                “I, (daughter’s name)'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in her area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.”

                Girls stand there and make silent vows usually.

                Rings are not the only things that have been exchanged. Some fathers give their daughters locks and keep the keys, the group understanding that he will be giving the key to her husband on her wedding day.

                Okay, so not only are girls given this special treatment and pressure regarding their sexuality that boys do not have to deal with, they are essentially signing and giving away their sexuality to their fathers until they enter a new contract (marriage) in which they will then sign over their sexuality to another man, their husbands.

                Look, I’m all for father daughter dances. I’ve been to one. It’s fun. And I can understand that maybe the atmosphere of a dance WOULD appeal to girls more. But promoting this event exclusively for girls without having a similar ceremony for boys with the same vows is insanely gross, chauvinistic, and sexist.

                Another thing, basing an event of father-daughter bonding on the daughter’s sexuality is so wrong on so many other levels. First, father’s should not have this much fascination with their daughters being virgins. Second, tying the concept of Daddy loving you and your state of virginity can be psychologically harmful, sending a messed up message as to why Daddy loves you and even the idea that you won’t be Daddy’s little girl if you WERE to lose your virginity based on marriage. Third, some of these girls are insanely young and have no idea what they’re promising, this enforced ignorance and exploitation of it is a threat to a daughter’s free will and understanding of herself as she matures. Fourth, it’s yet another thing that paints sex, especially a woman having sex, as something bad, dirty, and sinful. Fifth, ownership is an enormous theme here. The daughter’s sexuality becomes the responsibility and property of her father until it becomes the responsibility and property of her husband. It no longer belongs to her. NOBODY IS ANYBODY’S PROPERTY. NO WOMAN IS ANY MAN’S PROPERTY.

                The question of a girl’s so-called purity is no longer her choice. That’s fucked up.

                So yeah, ownership is there.

                Ok, now onto sexual repression in general.

                Our exaltation of female virginity has gone way too far ( especially, once again, considering we don’t hold men in the same light). A perfect example?

                Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

                Forget your opinions of them personally and their music for a second. Just look at this: Britney Spears sold the whole “Virgin Until Marriage” thing while Christina took the image of the sexy siren. Britney Spears was an awful singer who could dance extremely well and was good looking. Christina was just as good looking and could dance just as well; but she also always had an extremely superior voice and a range of multiple octaves. But who sold more? BRITNEY.

                Christina was called a slut, but look at their respective turnouts. I don’t need to go into Britney’s various meltdowns. But Christina? She’s been married to a guy WITH A JOB for several years, has a baby boy, still makes records and tours, still looks hot, still healthy, and her career is still going well.

                But Britney sold more for her virginity while Christina was condemned as a slut. Not only was Christina a victim of the gender double standard, but the fact is that we have no idea how many lovers she had or how responsible she really was regarding sex. So even though she did dress and dance extremely provocatively, she might have been extremely responsible sexually and had very few lovers at all.

                Then there is the whole label of slut. Or skank. Or whore. A skank and a whore is supposed to be the word for someone who is promiscuous. A whore is someone who has sex for money. Yet, girls get called all these things. Guys are not usually called these things, though gay guys do tend to get branded with this more. If a man is called it, he has to be called a man-slut for distinction, which of course just further reinforces the idea that women are just naturally sluts.  Even worse, a girl can be called all of these things without even having sex. Ever. It can be just for taking a picture in a bikini, wearing a revealing outfit, flirting with a lot of guys or girls, kissing someone, or walking around or taking private pictures in their underwear. They don’t have to have sex at all. But apparently, even doing those things are something condemnable.

                Girls can just be called sluts anyways as a casual insult. This is so ingrained in our society that nobody seems to mind or care. They could be called that for things that have nothing to do with sex. Yet this accusation of sexual promiscuity is deemed an appropriate insult for women. The insult is based on being a woman who has sex, and so apparently being a woman who has sex is something so bad we have to have an insulting name for it to give anyone. Because being a woman who has sex is so bad that really it applies to anything negative.

                Meanwhile, “virginity” sells like hotcakes. Teen stars who make public proclamations of abstinence are always the ones that are marketed most (see: Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus). T-shirts and “Purity rings” sell like crazy, even though statistics prove that kids who makes that vow are just as likely to have premarital sex as kids who don’t, they have the same rates of pregnancy and STD’s, are six to eight times more likely to have oral sex, three to four times more likely to have anal sex, usually start having sex earlier, and are far less likely to use protection.

                Yeah.

                And though virginity messages sell, the stigma of “slut” still can invade. Miley Cyrus is now called “Slutty Cyrus” for a bunch of stupid pictures she took which continue to be released gradually on the web. It’s very possible she has never had sex, but she’s apparently still a slut for showing her belly and back.

                Even more insane is how natural an insult “Slut” or similar names seem to be. We don’t think of insulting a girl for being stupid or mean or irresponsible. No, it’s always a more pressing matter to insult her for what she might or might not be doing in bed.

                And the fact is, SEX ISN’T EVIL ANYWAYS. A PERSON SHOULD NOT BE INSULTED OR CONDEMNED FOR BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE. THEY SHOULD NOT BE EXALTED OR TREATED AS BETTER FOR NOT BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE. SEX IS A NATURAL, NORMAL, IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE. ACTUALLY, I’M PRETTY SURE THE HUMAN RACE CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT IT.

                And we are afraid of sex, especially in America. Watch the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated and look at how films are rated. A film like Scary Movie where within the first five minutes a woman gets her fake breast ripped out, then quickly gets killed gets an R rating while a film that shows a glimpse of a woman’s pubic hair like The Cooler in a love-making scene gets an NC-17. Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution gets an NC-17 while a film where a woman is tortured with acid and forced-cannibalism (Captivity) is given an R. Violence and multilation…. Ok….. Someone faking an orgasm… BAD.

                Oddly, we don’t seem to have this sort of sexual fear for the most part when it comes to men, which is funny considering there are more male rapists and pedophiles known to society. Sure, that’s mostly because they have greater upper body strength and because there’s that whole bullshit idea about how women can’t be rapists or pedophiles, but apparently, women should not be having sex anyways, so we’re just supposed to condemn them for that and move on.

                We could blame a good deal of this idiocy and fixation on Christians, and in fact, many people do, after all, the two most important women in the Bible are the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene. And for years Mary Magdalene was branded a prostitute, introducing the idea that the only two things women can be are virgins or prostitutes. But actually, it’s not just them. Oppression of women went on way before Christ ever came to Earth, and sexual fear for them goes on still today in areas which are not Christian at all. In Pakistan women are imprisoned for being raped. In some fundamentalist Muslim Countries they can be stoned for it and are forced to be covered from head to toe. In many African Countries, particularly in Zambia, female circumcision still takes place. So no, it’s not just Christianity that is responsible for this bullshit.

                It’s all about the uteris. Women control hereditary lines. And before Western Civilization became progressive, inheritance went to only legitimate children, so a woman had the power to mess up lines of descent by casting doubt over the paternity of a child. In order to stifle their power and also in fits of the female power to create life, women were oppressed. And it still goes on today.

                But I’m not complaining about this solely for the sake of feminism, but what I see as a threat to my generation. Not only is there the demonization and discrediting of feminism caused by both misandry and misogyny, but further demonization as well as promotion of sex in the media. We try to make it more present a thing in popular culture and market it to this generation in many ways which are pure objectification, but then we also tell kids how evil they are for showing interest in it in the first place.

                Unfortunately, a lot of the demonization of sex for girls has also taken place under the guise of empowerment. People trying so hard to instill the idea that us girls should not just try to achieve things through sex appeal and that we’re worth more that society has gotten to the point where we will slander and ostracize girls for exploring their sexuality at all. We want them to not become strippers so badly that we freak out the second the show any interest in sex period. At the same time we market outfits like Danity Kane and The Pussycat Dolls, even calling them empowering in some ways, whilst putting virginity on the pedestal of all that is good.

                So all this virginity/slut stuff browbeaten into the psych’s of women worldwide and now in Western Society we don’t even care to focus much on what could be empowering for girls (and boys): Equality. In popular culture everyone is afraid to talk about feminism and treat it like it’s a dirty word. So the majority of young women and men in the world have no idea about what it is and lose the opportunity to be inspired and appreciate the feminist movement at all. Programs meant to empower women can be unappealing for their exclusion of men while things aimed at kids in general are so patronizing , intimidating, or misleading that they are easily dismissed.

                And yet, we do still need to pay special attention to young women as well as young men, especially in regards to sex (because seriously, the psychological ramifications of what is going on now could have uniquely bad results in the future no one could have predicted). We need to send non-creepy, relatable support for young adults that is not extreme obsessed and doesn’t use scare tactics. We need to finally break free of this social stigma so it stops getting in the way of real issues and we can finally lay gender-centric organizations to rest.

               In the end, this is just another step for social progress.

                Sources:

                Wikipedia

                Perez Hilton