johnnynotsid

I tried not to make a fuss when the bulletin about Miley Cyrus's underwear pictures showed up in my inbox a few days ago. All I did was mention Pete Wentz and I hoped it would go away. But then DJ Rossstar's dumb poll showed up and there was nowhere to run.




And now I'm seriously pissed off.

First, throwing words like 'slut' and 'whore' around is stupid, judgemental, unfair, ignorant and nasty. A slut is someone who is extremely promiscuous and sexually irresponsible. Miley Cyrus is neither of those things. A whore is a prostitute, someone who has sex for money. We have seen no evidence of Miley Cyrus doing that. Calling a girl a whore for taking a few dumb pictures is a loathesome and petty thing to do. Not to mention hypocritical.

Then, I might also add that it is hypocritical because no one acted like this when it came to Kiki Kannibal or Pete Wentz. If you're a fan of either, shut the Hell up.

Hannah Montana has a long ways to go to Britneyville, and she doesn't have two baby boys. She's just a teenage girl who has done something HUNDREDS IF NOT THOUSANDS OF TEENAGE GIRLS HAVE DONE.

I personally advocate modest attire, but I am not going to judge her for being in her underwear. Sure, was it a stupid thing to do? Sure. My mom and Dad would kill me if I did something like that. Now she will have to deal with some consequences. Some very fair. Some extremely unfair.

I am no fan of Hannah Montana. I have never watched her show nor have I ever listened to one of her songs. In fact, I harbored a little bitterness towards her about 15 months ago when her CD went to number one over The Black Parade.

But then, I started to feel sympathy for her.

You see, I read the press releases on the CD's sales in relation with it being released the same week as The Black Parade, and I read some comments. They were not negative by any stretch of the imagination, but they troubled me.

Women were celebrating her success because they were glad their daughters FINALLY had a positive role model to look up to.

Now, one of the arguments as to why Miley is a loathesome brat for these pictures is that she was "supposed to be a role model."

Ladies and Gentlemen, when did it become ok to put fifteen year old girls up on the "role model" pedestal?

Now, I'm not a parent. I would never dream of trying to tell a person who is how to raise their kid but this is really fucked up.

Did it ever occur to anyone that the real problem here is not Miley's stupid behavior but the fact that everyone looked to this girl who is younger than I am, to be a person for young kids to look up to and emulate? This girl is barely post puberty and already this weight is being placed on her shoulders? Why? Miley Cyrus is an entertainer. That is all she is. Being good at entertaining people should not make them expected to act as flawless paragons of good behavior. Everyone makes stupid mistakes. Why should Miley Cyrus be an exception? She has basically zero life experience and has not even been independent. She has had no time to make her errors. Stuff like this is almost supposed to happen so people can learn from their missteps. The problem is she is under the limelight and is being judged and beaten down because "she was supposed to be a role model"!

Why? Because she's a Christian? Or because she's famous? Because her parents were on the cover of People Magazine talking about "How to raise a teen idol the right way" or some such nonesense?

Did it ever occur to anyone that it's totally fucked up that we expected Miley Cyrus to be a role model? Not even Miley, but any Hollywood celebrity for that matter?

Did it ever occur to anyone than rather than look to famous fifteen year olds, parents and guardians should instead try to be role models for their kids? Or to surround them with positive role models? To teach kids that looking up to people like The Jonas Brothers as good examples of how to live your life and conduct yourself is completely wrong?

It's bad enough we're looking to celebrities as role models anyways.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with admiring some famous people. Oprah is a good example, another would be Mother Teresa. People who have lived a long time, made their mistakes, learned from them, and tried to help other people.

CD's and TV shows are for entertainment. NOT life lessons.

Last time I checked, the parents are the ones responsible for their childrens' developement. Hannah Montana should have absolutely NO part in that in whatever she does. Her job is to sing pop songs and act on a TV show.

Any disappointment towards looking to her as a role model is your fault. Her stupid pictures? Her fault, sure, but that that should be none of your business and it should not affect you.

It's this sort of mentality that creates the Britney Spearses of the world, the Lindsey Lohans. WE create these monsters when we put them under microscopes and judge every thing they do.

You want positive role models for your kids? Take a look in the mirror. Then take a look at who you associate with. THAT'S who should be the examples for your kids.

Not a fifteen year old girl.

Nothing in particular has happened to inspire this rant, but I just hate it.

I don't like to address it much in journals. I think I've had one blog where I talked about this ridiculous scene profile. Luckily it turns out the girl has reformed and has owned up to how ridiculous it was.

But guys, now I think it just should be addressed as the mass phenomenon it is.

I don't like the scene. I never did. When Audrey Kitching's fame began to grow on buzznet, I thought it was ridiculous. When I first saw her I thought she looked like some kind of female Ziggy Stardust wannabe with laffy-taffy as hair. Jac Vanek was of no consequence to me and Kiki Kannibal was and still is a big joke with roadkill on her head.

And then came World's Most Hated.

I had no problems with them. They were just regular people who were "famous" on the net because of some people they knew. Hell, I defended Alicia Simmons viciously when people attacked her for no reason even while refusing to kiss her ass. Eliza Cuts was just so annoying I fought against the evil forces of the speculation surrounding her, lost, and silently rejoiced (ok, not silently nut whatever) when Gerard Way married Lyn-Z and settled the whole damn thing.

World's Most Hated pretty much went away but the Scene remained.

Jeffree Star, Hannah Beth, Audrey Kitching, all of them..... For a long time I told people to just ignore them.

Then I realized the effect they were having. I saw profile descriptions of crazy kids. I saw people trying to make excuses for the racist remarks of Kiki Kannibal and Jeffree Star (major worrying there), I saw the whole hurricane of the beginning of the Be Big On Buzznet contest.

And I realized how fucked up this was.


Guys, these people are rude and narcississtic. Don't believe me? Go read the rare comments that Audrey or Jeffree leave when someone questions something on their pictures.







Not that this bothers anyone. But he did tell a fifteen year old to suck a dick.

Classy fellow.

He could learn to be a bit more polite though.

Another thing that spurred my dissatisfaction was when I recieved my badges. I got a buzznet originals badge as well as a buzzmaker badge. The buzzmaker one used to be reserved for people like Jeffree and Audrey. It started going to people like me, stewieismyhomeboy,  funksteena ,   Ashly,     and seb.

Talented users, writers, photographers and all around creative people.

And the thing was, we started to get noticed more because of them. There was less of a distinction and I wanted to be clear as to where the line now rested between myself and Audrey Kitching.

And I saw all too clearly.

I won't go around pointing fingers. I'm not going to be too explicit. Most if not all of what I'm saying has been said before and I am not going to spend valuable time on a group of people as useless and frivolous as The Scene. You guys need to do a little research and self searching. I know I am not the only one who thinks so. Madison   covered some of it. So did Ikkyg.  

This is my entire impression of Scene Queens:

They are just like Paris Hilton, only less rich, less famous, and with multicolored hair.

And before anyone wants to give me flames, just please make sure you follow this guideline:

Don't talk with your mouth full of shit.

Or, actually, it was sent a while ago, but it was still really nice!

"

My name is Ted. Saw your thoughtful reply to mine and others comments on the Silver Springs video, and just wanted to say hi. You seem very diverse in your music taste. Wanted to chec k out what you were saying in your vlog, but my wife's asleep now, and I gotta keep the volume down. I'll check it later. Please take this in the spirit intended, I was surprise to see a lady of such a young age attached to the comments you posted. You are very intelligent and you actually know what you're talking about before you speak. Your movie list , interests and hobbies were interesting too. I look forward to seeing and speaking to you on other comment pages. If you want, stop by my page. I've been raping and pillaging all the sites on YouTube and made a page of all the music. I'll tell you now, you won't a lot of your Punk interests on there, but just about everything else is. Well, I'm talking, and I can't shut up. Talk to you soon. Peace, TED

"

That made me feel so good.

I'm feeling a lot better guys. I'm going out tomorrow night to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show with some friends, my grades are better (All A's and B's and ok, two C+'s on my exams!) and I'm just happier.

But that really made my day.
 Lots of Love,
Wendy Notsid

Artic Monkeys snub Brits over Take That battle

Arctic Monkeys are planning to freeze out the Brits because of their head-to-head battle with Take That.

The Sheffield band have a frosty relationship with their Manchester rivals and they even clashed at the Q Awards in 2006, when Alex Turner called Gary Barlow and the boys a "load of b*******."

Now the Arctics - whose song Mardy Bum seems strangely fitting - are determined not to run the risk of losing out to the comeback kings live on ITV.

Take That have been tipped to sweep the board in the Best Group, Single and Album categories - the same gongs the Arctics are up for.

The icy reception they've received from the band has dismayed Brits bosses, who hoped there might be a chance the Arctics would perform at the bash on February 20.

A source said: "There is a distinct lack of indie bands at this year's awards and there was a slim hope that Arctic Monkeys might come and add a bit of rock 'n 'roll to the event.

"Everyone knows they aren't big on awards and, at the moment, they seem to have no intention of coming. It's a shame, as their ongoing feud with Take That could have added a real spark to proceedings."

But maybe we shouldn't completely give up hope. Pals of the Monkeys tell us the one thing that might just get the band to show up would be to see Sir Paul McCartney in action after picking up his Lifetime Achievement Award.

"They may go to the afterparty if Sir Paul has one. They went to the Oasis party at Cuckoo Club last year," our source said.

"Or, if they were asked to duet with him at the end of the show, I think Alex and the lads would find it hard to turn down.

"They met Sir Paul at last year's Q Awards and their mate Noel Gallagher is a big fan, so he might be able to drag them along."

Let's hope they thaw out before the big show and make a surprise appearance.

[Source: Mirror]

Ok, first of all, do I really need to point out the obvious here?

The Arctic Monkeys did not attend The Brit Awards last year either.

They accepted their awards via satellite video dressed like this:




 I think after insulting Take That to their faces at the Q Awards, it's a bit rich to say they're going to wimp out of the Brits for THAT reason.

But I'm sure now that the rep's are going to talk like that to the press and make those insinuations, the Monkeys will be SURE to want to attend and perform.

Is it me or is this whole press release completely stupid?

Why would the organizers talk to The Mirror about this? Stop using Paul McCartney as a bargaining tool. It's idiotic. Thse guys obviously think this thing is a joke anyways, and while I doubt that Take That have anything to do with their hesitance to appear, I'm pretty sure telling the press that the band is wimping out is going to be a REAL incentive.

"Oh please Arctic Monkeys! Please come to our party! It would be so cool if real live indie rockers showed up! Our parents aren't going to be home and Noel Gallagher says he can get us some beer! Maybe some GIRLS will show up to! And Macca might have an after-party!"

I know I just wrote a blog about how dry I feel, but this is just dribble on purpose. Plus it's funny.

I've been feeling lately like my writing has gone to shit and I while I have written a couple of things which I feel better about lately, I've been feeling a bit unmotivated. Like I'm writing for writing's sake or something and I am worried that it is showing. I am feeling totally lost and uninspired. This is strange. I'm also feeling a bit useless and tired. There was a stretch of a few weeks where I was miserable about the stuff I was coming out with and felt like I was producing dribble.

I'm losing talent, I fear. I'm worried that I am going stale. Like I'm losing my skill at sentence structure. Even the fiction I write privately I feel has started to go to shit. I sound like JK Rowling. I used to do better.

Things to be stretching forward. There is nothing going on in my mind, I feel. I'm really worried that it is beginning to show. Maybe it's because of stress or what's going on around me. I feel I may need some turmoil in my life.

I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied with myself. I thought I was over it but I realized today that it is not true. I am not as funny anymore. I don't write as well. When I put something of length, depth or what I think is quality out I go back and read it. It does not make me feel too good. It sounds like a text book. Perhaps I've lost my voice.

My writing lately has sucked and I'm not liking it. Perhaps I'm only beginning to recognize it. I do not deserve the praise I've gotten and I realize that now.

My life has gone a bit pale as of late and the things which I am producing have followed suit. Don't try to deny it, it's true.

Was I ever any good at all? People have told me I'm creative, But those people are my guidance counselors and parents. I don't look to them for honesty when they are obviously looking to encourage me in interests. All my confidence as a writer may have been a dellusion.

And, to prove it to myself perhaps, I am typing out a substandard blog drenched with self pity. Sorry guys. I promise I'm not fishing for compliments. I have confessed this stuff to Bree, Mark, and Ashly. I thought I might as well come clean to you guys by now. I thought I was getting better, but I was kidding myself. I'm pretty much failing at this right now, and this blog is my pride and joy. I'm just messing this up again.

Trust me guys, I really hate writing this. I hate talking about myself because I am thoroughly uninteresting. But I thought that whoever (if anyone cares, I mean, I know I'm not really of any real consequence to anyone. This is the internet) cares deserves an apology for the shitty writing I've done lately.

If anyone has any tips, send them my way.

It may seem insensitive to post this so soon after my Ronnie Radke thing, but this has been annoying me.

Why is it that female tween pop idols are not given instruments when male tween pop idols are.

Ok, we all know almost all these kids come from a factory. They are churned out for the latest Tiger Beat generation by the powers that be. They usually fade away after a few years and are never heard from again. Or they have major meltdowns. The few who are credible remain out of obscurity and went on to make something decent.

But I noticed something.


The Mid 90's. The two biggest tween pop phenoms I remember are Hanson and The Spice Girls.

Spice Girls performing:



Hanson:



Ok, now for Exhibit B.

Duran Duran



Stacey Q:




Exhibit C:

The Ronettes (NOT DISSING THE RONETTES THOUGH I PROMISE THEY RULED):



The Monkees:




And the trend has continued.

Hannah Montana:



The Jonas Brothers:



(I swear those boys are faking it. Those guitars are NEVER wired or hooked up to ANYTHING)


My question is: why do boys get the instruments all the time and the girls do not?

It can't be that we don't like to see boys dance. Look at N* Sync. Look at the Backstreet Boys. Look at all those poor boy band schmucks. We definitely prefer Justin when he's dancing than when he is playing that guitar.

It can't be that we don't like to see girls with instruments. Look at Hole. Look at Joni Mitchell and Tori Amos. Oh and ESPECIALLY when these chicks play bass. Between The Pixies, The Talking Heads, The Smashing Pumpkins and Sonic Youth, I have a hunch that there is nothing America finds hotter than a chick playing a bass guitar.

So what is it?

Why does this happen? I know Miley Cyrus supposedly play some pink monstrosity. Give it to her!

Why the fuck is this happening?

It makes no sense.

Okay, so I just read about the Ronnie Radke case , where the Escape the Fate Member was charged with the battery of a young man named Michael Cook. Radke confessed to organizing the assault, knowing there was a gun, and letting the killing of this young man take place. He got off with five years probation.

  There have been people jailed for smoking pot. For stealing cars. For downloading music.

  This guy organizes the assault of a person and watches the victim get killed, and he gets probation. And people are bitching about this.

    “my choice is this one because u know in jail..i think prisoners rlly won't like him...and they certainly will do smthn awfull to him!!do u understand what am i talking about??? but yeah,he needs to be punished,but not going to prison... hmmm...sometimes in jails other prisoners rape new ones...= yeah that's awfull...so i'm REALLY worried..he doesn't deserve THIS. they should about another way of making him *better*...”

  Oh, boohoo. Ok, so the prisoners will do mean things to him? You mean like gang up on him? Organize an assault? Maybe beat him up?

  Ronnie Radke in jail would have something Michael Cook didn’t: guards. He still would not get what Michael Cook had to suffer.

  “BUT I LIKE HIS BAND BOOHOO!”

  WELL I GUESS THEN IT’S OK TO KILL PEOPLE AND TO HAVE PEOPLE GANG UP ON A KID KNOWING THAT TWO OF THE GUYS YOU’RE WITH HAVE GUNS!

  So, it’s ok to have someone beaten to smithereens, then shot, as long as they are in a band you like.

  “He got into a fight. He should just pay the time and get over it. BUT he sould also get out of jail because he didn't pull the trigger. the murderer got away with it.”  

First, he either goes to jail or doesn’t. There is no two ways about it.

Should the asshole who actually shot the kid serve time and be sentenced? YES.

Does that mean Ronnie Radke should not go to jail? NO.

  Just because someone else is guilty as well does not make another person innocent.

  But I guess since he sings that song you like with the blood, it’s totally ok, is that what you mean?

  You all make me sick.

       

No, this is not about music.

This is about the vagina.

Vagina:

My question is about its personality as an organ.

Why is it that the vagina is not funny as often as the penis is?

Before you say anything about how they are just as funny, think about it carefully.

Your vagina (if you have one, if not, um, just substitute "Your" with "The") is sometimes very unfunny. When it's bleeding (which happens every month for about five days give or take), when it's delivering a baby that is not due yet, when it is delivering a baby that is due, when its dirty, when it belongs to Ann Coulter....

NOT FUNNY VAGINA-TIMES.

Now don't get me wrong, the vagina is one of the greatest things ever. As that old artist guy on Sex and the City (Neville something or other) said, "It's the source of all life and beauty."

Exactly. Three cheers for the vagina!

And it is often very funny. When a slang term is used, during an Eve Ensler play, when you want to make fun of the first lady, in several scenes of Knocked Up, when someone describes it as a 'flower', if you're a prepubescent female, when someone just randomly starts talking about it, when the word is shouted in a Barnes and Noble by yours truly....

And all the funny slang terms!

Pussy, Punanny, Pinkie, Vag....

Often it is quite funny.

But there is a difference between "often" and "always."

The penis is always funny.

Seriously. The only times it isn't is when it comes to rape and AIDS.

Penectomies do not count because those eliminate the penis from the situation.

(Lorena Bobbit jokes are still funny though)

But think about it. I guarentee you when it comes to any situation involving the male sexual organ, there is a 70% greater likelihood of it being funny than with a situation involving a vagina.

I guarantee you, at least 50% of the population finds circumcision funny, at least in retrospect.

And though there are more slang terms for vagina than penis, the ones for the penis are far more ridiculous:

Dick, Dong, Wedding Tackle, Trouser-snake, Meat and two veg, twig and berries, stick, shaft, cock, lovestick, woodie, [insert name here] Jr, Weiner, Johnson, man-handle, how's your father....

('Punanny' is the only exception)

Whether they are peeing, cumming, or experiencing a punch or a kick, it's funny to at least one gender population. And the penis does not give birth. It is less likely to bleed. And it can't get raped like the vagina can (they can get raped... kinda...  but not nearly as often and some people are not even aware it has happened and I digress).

Then there is an added angle from which humor is often found: the size of it. It doesn't matter how big or small it is, it's always funny.

But this journal is not about the penis, it is about the vagina.

Why is the vagina so far up on a pedestal? By men especially? Women find it funny way more often then men do. Is it because men came out of it and, unlike women (save for lesbians), they are all (save for gay guys) dying to get back in? Or is it because the men are threatened by their desire for it? Or maybe they just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and does not die?

Also people, stop saying its a flower. It's not. Flowers are hermaphrodites. Some of them are blue. Vaginas are not blue. Also, why should The Great Vagina have to be compared to anything like a flower? Flowers are weak little bitches. Vaginas have babies. Vaginas bring forth thought and all intelligence. Flowers don't do that. Fuck Flowers. Or better yet, don't. That's the vagina's job.

Plus it sounds stupid.

It seems men are only able to laugh about the vagina when it meets a penis. Why is that? Is it because when the good-humoured penis meets the sinister and immortal vagina it makes it laugh? Makes it lighten up?

 

If so, men, I would like you to know this:

 

My vagina laughs at you right now. And it is not a cackle. I laugh with it. It's not that we don't have a sense of humor, you just don't understand.

Seriously. It seems like everywhere I go on this site it's "Paramore this" "Paramore that" "Hayley Williams this" "Red Hair that"

What is so great about them, really?

Let me make this clear: I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE  A BAD BAND. IF YOU LIKE THEM, THAT IS FINE. IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME. I DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE FOR LISTENING TO THEM. MORE POWER TO YOU. I AM NOT TRYING TO TELL ANYONE WHAT TO LIKE BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.

But they are not a particularly good one either. Yes, I've listened. And I've heard those same riffs, beats, lyrics and music before in a million other pop-punk bands. I've heard Hayley Williams' voice a million times before in plenty of other singers. I've seen her hair. I've seen her performance. I've seen her look. Not impressive. The music is not either. The guitarists are not any different from any of the other warped tour bands. The beats are not distinct. The bass is not either. Nothing in their sound is more exceptional than anything else I've heard.

So why is everyone so hyped up on them?

Is it the red hair? Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley has red hair too. So did Johnny Rotten of The Sex Pistols.

Everywhere I go on this site though, people act like they are the best thing since sliced bread.

Once again: I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE A NOT A BAD BAND. IF YOU LIKE THEM, THAT IS FINE. IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME. I DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE FOR LISTENING TO THEM. MORE POWER TO YOU.I AM NOT TRYING TO TELL ANYONE WHAT TO LIKE BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.

Guys give it a rest please they are working on it. It does not help to have a gazillion people making new bitchy comments every two seconds that just say the same thing over and over. The people we talk to only just found out this thing was launching yesterday. BY ACCIDENT. On top of it, beta feedback apparently for some reason did not get through. I tested this myself before it launched and had many of the same complaints and suggestions. I am not the only one. Several users we all know and love and hold in high esteem who all specialize in different specific types of media (seb, ashly, hulda, bulletproofheeb, etc) tested this stuff and made many suggestions but something got messed up. Anyways, there was a serious miscommunication and they are all tripping over themselves to get this working and STILL provide you the same stuff they usally post. THAT IS NOT EASY. And because Mark and Bree care about us all they read nearly every comment to make sure they help as many people as possible. Even though they have still got to do all their regular posting AND sort this out. Can you IMAGINE?

So TRY and have a little patience. I know, trust me, IT SUCKS when things don't work right and I spend A TON of time on this site. I KNOW. But please wait a little while. There are a few million users on this sight and a gazillion pieces of media. These things will take time and this will take some getting used to. But, I am positive that this will be fixed. Remember: we have Mark and Bree.

Remember the psychotic mess that was the beginning of the Be Big On Buzznet contest? It was AWFUL. Worst thing I've ever seen this site go through. It was a disgusting piece of mismanagement that had been invaded by a bunch of myspace imbeciles and had descended to chaos.

Then Mark and Bree cleaned it up. More people were let in. They got the rules. They regulated it. They read every single god-damn entry. Now it has been won by one of the most deserving and talented users on this site. If that isn't skill, I don't know what is.

On top of it, quite a few of the new features are really great.

Face it, there is a reason you come on this site. Now just show a little patience and restraint and wait for things to get better.

Face it: A ton of people bitched about the last layout in the same way when it was first launched. Now you're all sad that it is gone. So maybe you should give it a chance, eh?

Wendy Notsid’s Retro Movie Reviews

The Mick Travis Trilogy Part II:

O Lucky Man! (1973)

Director:

Lindsey Anderson

Writer:

David Sherwin

Starring:

Malcolm McDowell

Helen Mirren

Ralph Richardson

 

 

 

 

If you’ve seen If… there are two things you should know when you watch O Lucky Man!

 

1. The movie is three hours long
2. This is not a sequel to If…

3.The Mick Travis of If…. is not the same as the Mick Travis in O Lucky Man! They just have the same name and are both played by Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange, Time After Time)

 

In this movie, Mick Travis is not a philosopher or a revolutionary as he was in the first film. He is an opportunist and ambitious capitalist, his mind set on making money. Enter him training as a coffee salesman. He gets a huge break by means of you guessed it, sleeping with his boss Gloria Rowe played by Rachel Roberts (The Reckoning, Wild Rovers). He travels north as a sales representative to take over a post by former top salesman Jim Osbourne, who has mysteriously disappeared.

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. And this is the start of an epic quest to find out aboutwhat happened to him and save the day, right?

 

No. No it isn’t.

 

Instead, Travis is successful, charming, and making useful contacts (several at a sex club) until he gets a car from Gloria telling him he is need that morning 200 miles from his location by 10 am. He does her bidding, only to discover he has been lured to a government building where it is revealed he has been framed by his employers to be a Soviet Spy. He is tortured into confessing, only to have the building blow up just in time.

 

Keep in mind, this is not an action movie at all. In fact, it would be impossible to pinpoint exactly what type of movie this is supposed to be.

 

Anyways, Travis wanders for miles from the building, only to collapse in a church where the woman running it nurses him (literally) back to health and has her children lead him to the highway in order for him to hitch a ride to London. He gets sidetracked however, by a sequence of events that bear the most references to A Clockwork Orange(keep in mind, this film was made just after ACO). After narrowly escaping a gruesome fate (again) he hitches a ride on a van filled with a bunch of musicians (including the film’s composer Alan Price) and one curious woman called Patricia (Helen Mirren, The Queen, Hamlet).

 

Patricia reveals to Mick she is the daughter of Sir James Burgees (Ralph Richardson, The Heiress, Dragonslayer) who; “Owns half the copper mines in the world… the most evil man you could ever hope to meet.” Despite the Christian by the family at the church, he seems not the least bit perturbed by this and immediately sets out to woo Sir James into employing him. After a visit to Sir James’ office where he makes a bungled attempt at “alerting” the business man that Patricia is in “bad trouble… bad company, protests, drugs..”

 

Despite this, Sir James makes him his assistant. After a good time helping Travis prosper, he frames him for fraud.

 

Travis then spends five years in prison, during which he “reads books” and “thinks” and truly comes out a new man: An person of Christ-like love for all with a penchant for optimism and pissing off religious authorities. Almost immediately out of jail, he makes it his mission to save one woman from killing herself by scaling the wall of her building and shouting snatches of optimistic philosophy at her. Unfortunately, he falls and fails. Not to be defeated, he makes more attempts at humanity only to be denied. The film does not end there, but it almost does.

 

Several noteworthy patterns and allusions come into play into this film. It becomes clear before long, what with Travis’ experiences as a coffee salesman at the beginning of the film, that this is a satire of the high and low points of capitalism. Often times you see Travis taking part in, observing, or becoming a victim of corruption in the name of money-making. Both times he is framed, it is by his employers in the names of business. Other times, Mick witnesses first hand or by the accounts of others, someone being screwed mightily. In fact, his experiences with the coffee company seem to mirror his experiences with Sir James considerably and you’re rather shocked he’d fall into the same trap twice before he finally moves on. The Mick Travis of If… would not be so stupid. This Mick Travis is, as Patricia describes him, “so hopelessly conventional.”

 

It is, however, the same hero, as seen due to small allusions to the first movie. When trapped in the military base being questioned, the inspector asks him if his headmaster was right to expel him. Actors from If.. make repeated appearances as well, particularly Christine Noonan and Hugh Thomas in near-lineless bit parts. Still, the question asked by the inspector seems to follow Travis throughout the film, that is, whenever he has a bit of time for self reflection during his determined quest for wealth.

 

The affects of this film are intriguing, not just to the viewer, but to the characters as well. The fate of Patricia is near-heartbreaking and unexplained while you are left wondering about Michael Travis’ future. Personally, I have trouble making out my own reaction to this film. Obviously it is an incredible movie  filled with quirks by director Lindsey Anderson, such as interrupting the film with chapter titles for the movie, cameos by past actors and blatant displays of the misuse of power. Nothing in this film is subdued, but bitingly frank. And yet, the brilliance of this movie is how it retains some mystery to the events and emotions throughout.

 

I very much enjoyed O Lucky Man! Despite liking If… more, it would be idiotic of me to truly compare the two. All I can say is, O Lucky Man! Is three hours long and I was not bored for one second. If that is not a sign of a terrific piece of cinema, I don’t know what is.

This was so incredibly painful.

10. The Weirdness ~ The Stooges

Coming back better than The Police did. This record was so good. I couldn't stop listening for two weeks straight. They've truly kept their Raw Power.

9. Year Zero ~ Nine Inch Nails

It really grows on you

8.   Back to Black ~ Amy Winehouse

PLEASE AMY!!! PLEASE! DON'T KILL YOURSELF!

7. Play It As It Lays ~ Patti Scialfa

 

I love her voice. It's like she spent the whole night drinking bourbon and smoking, woke up the next morning and was like, "I'm gonna sing a song!"

6. Favorite Worst Nightmare ~ Arctic Monkeys

They've learned to harmonize properly! Go them!

5. Icky Thump ~ The White Stripes

Jack White: be as bluesy as fuck.

Me: YES SIR!

4. New Magnetic Wonder ~ The Apples in Stereo

They just make me so happy.

3. Kala ~ M.I.A

 

It's just brilliant. Filled with all these fantastic sounds and incredible excitement. There is never a dull moment.

2. Neon Bible ~ Arcade Fire

Where do I start? 'Black Mirror'! 'Black Wave/Bad Vibrations'! 'Windowstill'! 'Keep the Car Running'! Dissing Joe Simpson!

1. Magic ~ Brice Springsteen

Half the songs on Magic are as good as the ones on Born to Run. That's only because Magic is twice as long. Why can't all the other old guys be as cool?