johnnynotsid

Luckily it did not have to be metered. I have to turn in the sonnet for creative writing class and really the only requirements were four stanzas, three of them four lined and the fourth a couplet, altogether the rhyme scheme: A/B/A/B/C/D/C/D/E/F/E/F/G/G

I'm not a poet whatsoever. Don't ask me why. I'm really not good at poetry but I do have to write it right now so here it is:

Wendy Weissman

P5

Sonnet

 

 

Hello girl’s mopey note

You say something happened last night

But I don’t believe what you wrote

And lying like this isn’t right

 

You say you went to the E.R

Because you wanted to die

But I find it quite bizarre

That you were able to go online

 

You DO know in the suicide hall

They confine you, you’re bedridden

No computer allowed at all

So how did you get this typed and written?

 

So please spare us your attention-whore recital

It makes people ignore the pain of those who are really suicidal

-----

We've had other poems assigned, but I thought you guys might find it entertaining.

 

From The Onion:

 

Mel Brooks Starts Nonprofit Foundation To Save Word 'Schmuck'

 

NEW YORK—Saying he could no longer stand idly by while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a private nonprofit organization dedicated to preserving the word "schmuck."

"Schmuck is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us, saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I hear only the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake my head and think, 'I don't want to live in a world like this.'"

The nonprofit, Schmucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data from the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on contemporary "schmuck" usage. According to Brooks, the statistics are frightening: Utterances of the word "schmuck" have declined every year since its peak in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times—17 of these times by Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with a situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely to use the word "jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely to use "dick," and 15,000 times more likely to use "fucking asshole."

Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means, and only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2011, such lesser-used terms as "imbecile," "dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible ne'er-do-well" will all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely disappear by the year 2020 or whenever Brooks dies.

"We must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!" "How will we be able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie' in 2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your family, your friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a bunch of schmucks."

"I've never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back tears, "but my father was a schmuck."

The foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to donations from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert Brooks, the Schtupp Institute, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI), and the Henny Youngman Endowment for the Preservation of Schmekel. The money will go toward projects aimed at reintegrating "schmuck" into the English lexicon, including billboards and flyers plastered with the word "schmuck," the upcoming 5K Schlep for Schmuck Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film.

"The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word," Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper West Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You can be a poor schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A group of people can be collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck, and you can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck."

"Plus, it's just so fun to say," Brooks added. "Schmuck."

Many of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for the word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly disappearing from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act now, the trend could create a snowball effect.

"Today it's schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS volunteer Harry Steinbergmann, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz? Schlimazel?"

Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.

Brooks will be appearing at Brooklyn's Francis Scott Key Junior High on Nov. 12 to give an informal lecture about his experiences using the word "schmuck," and build grassroots support among a key group of young Americans by explaining that "schmuck" is a Yiddish term for the foreskin on the head of a penis. In addition, he has hinted at the possibility of a reunion with longtime comedy partner Gene Wilder, during which the two will call each other schmucks.

 

----------------------

You know what? We need to save 'putz' too

So start saying it, you schmucky putzes.

 

You paskudnyacks too.

 

As part of the curriculum at my catholic High School, we are required to take a course titled Justice Service, a course mainly dealing with community service, charity, and civil rights. Recently we were assigned a project where a group of one or two would pick a marginalized society from a list. Not keen on taking the chance of a whole class devoted to hearing about how "sinful" it was to be gay, I picked homosexuality.

The first thing I wanted to do (after the initial information was gathered, of course), was interview Mark Panasonicyouth. For several reasons. One being of course that he is always up to date with LGBT issues and blogs about them. Two, he is a student of religion and political science so he would have a good outlook and well-crafted perspective. Three, this is the type of thing he's really good at in general. Four, he's funny and eloquent. And then there is of course the fact that he is, in fact, gay. And most importantly he's just a really cool dude.

The interview was conducted over AIM, but I edited it a bit to make it more respectable looking. Excerpts of this will be included in my power point and the interview will be part of my hand out. We discussed his experiences, religious and political issues involved with homosexuality as well as the Catholic outlook on it. Tell me what you think (we think it went real well, but that is just us talking).

 

---

Name: Mark Oshiro

 

Age: 24

 

Occupation: Internet community operator, editor, moderator

 

Education: Student at California State University, Long Beach; Political Science and Religious Studies

 

Political Affiliation: Green Party, Liberal

 

Gender: Male

 

Cultural Background: Hispanic

 

Marital Status: Single

 

Orientation: Homosexual

 

Wendy Weissman: First question: What is your impression of the current political and social attitude concerning homosexuality?

 

Mark Oshiro: I think we're at a very bizarre and unique crossroads, personally.

 

WW: How so?

 

MO: I don't think homosexuality has ever had this much media exposure as it does right now. And by crossroads, I mean that, given our political climate, especially with the election on hand, homosexuality in politics can go one of either two ways: We can continue to press onward and gain more rights for those who are homosexual and transgender. And, much like the Civil Rights movement, actually gain ground in our society. And work towards harmony. Or, the scale could feasibly tip the opposite direction. That's a scary thought. Actually, it's not that feasible.

 

WW: Many believe America as a society is becoming far more secular, would you agree? How do you think this affects the issues of gay rights? After all as you said homosexuality has more media exposure than ever and we are “continuing” down the path towards equal rights for LGBT people, even though homosexuality is not at all a new occurrence. There is evidence of homosexuality activity which predates the common era, but only now is it truly being publicly addressed and contemplated. Do you believe a factor into this is that society may be becoming less occupied with religious ideals?

 

MO: I think that it's hard to peg American society as secular. Because it's so overwhelmingly religious. I think the problem is that even the most religious people in the US. Still participate in secularism to an extent i.e., capitalism etc.

 

 

 

 

WW: Do you blame religion for social and political inequality shown to homosexuals? What other factors play in?

 

MO: Well, that's a source of it, but that's far too general a term to pinpoint it as the reason for the inequality. There are plenty of religions, denominations of Christianity included, that are entirely tolerant of homosexuality. I know of quite a few religious organizations and churches out here, mostly Unitarian, that are very pro-gay. I think you have to be specific when discussing theology and politics, especially here in America. I personally don't think the Bible is anti-gay anymore; I think it's a matter of poor and biased translation that has led many fundamentalist Christian groups to latch on to that specific sin. I think the two major forces that I can place "blame" on would be fundamentalist Christianity and the patriarchial society we've had hammered into our heads since we were young. I think the rules set forth in Leviticus were harsh and bizarre, but you also have to look at the world God created. I think that, given how sinful it was, they needed a structure that was iron-clad, set in stone, and very definite.

 

 

WW: Some so called christians stress homosexuality but they won't try and enforce other mandates by the same people just to save their image. The opposition to homosexuality is only directly addressed in by the books of St Paul and Leviticus. And in Leviticus it says you should also kill your kill your kid if it talks back to you and St Paul said that women must cover their heads in church because they are less godly.

 

MO: Well, it's very convenient to pick and choose, right? I know that's such a cliche point to make, but it really is an obvious contradiction.  Why stress that particular sin? What is so horrific and terrible about it? I think that goes hand in hand with our patriarchal society. Both the Bible and an overarching masculinity contribute to a fear of anything that's not stereotypically "male." I believe the two combine to create such an atmosphere that is so hateful towards anything that exists outside of traditional gender roles.

 

WW: Do you believe you are born gay? Many believe it’s a choice or an illness. What is your argument towards the opposing viewpoints?

 

I believe I was born gay. I can't speak for other people, but I wasn't molested or abused. Well, I was abused later in life, but I knew I was gay long before that. I think it's an amalgamation between nature vs. nurture. I think there's absolutely no evidence that it's a disease or some mental perversion.

 

WW: Was the abuse a result of intolerance towards you do to your orientation? (You don't have to get specific here)

 

MO: Hmmm. I don't know. I think my parents were more or less lashing out at their difficult financial situation. And taking it out on me.

 

 

 

WW: Okay, now more questions about you yourself. How do you describe yourself in regards to your lifestyle? What part of your life has the greatest impact on how you live?

 

MO: I think my choice to be an urban cyclist, right now, has the greatest impact on my life, followed by being a vegan. Well, I guess those both have to do with being a social, political, and environmental activist too. But, as an immediate answer, I'd saying being an urban egalitarian cyclist. I ride my bike every day . I have to plan my day around it. It gives me exercise. It's making a statement to my friends, peers, and co-workers. That I refuse to be bound to owning a car. And that it is entirely possible to co-exist in the sprawling urban garden of Los Angeles without polluting the tiniest bit.

 

WW: So truly your sexual orientation is not a particularly significant factor in your self-image as a person and member of society.

 

MO: It's miniscule, at best. I mean, I do take inspiration from it. I'm involved in fighting for equality for all people. I donate to the Human Rights Campaign every month. I blog about LGBT issues. I attend rallies, I write my Congressmen/women and reps in the House. I talk to my close friends and even acquaintences about being gay when I can, you know?  I've always found that personal interaction is the best way to help change someone's mind.

 

WW: On that note, have you ever been confronted face to face with intolerance? What was that like for you? How did you handle it?

 

MO: Sure! I've been the victim of intolerance MANY times. Let me think of a good example... Probably when everyone in my hometown found out I was gay. And the family I was living with actually did not want me around the house because they had younger sons. They were worried I'd do something to them. [In a sarcastic tone] Because, clearly, if you're gay, you're attracted to all males.

 

WW: I'm not attracted to all guys. And if I were a dude, I'd be the most stereotypical gay guy ever. But I am NOT attracted to all guys

 

MO: No one is! That’s what is so absurd about it!

 

WW: Any other experiences come to mind?

 

MO: Hmmm…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WW: When did you first realize you were gay and when did you come out of the closet? Was it hard for you to do so? What were the reactions from your friends and family?

 

I first realized I was gay when I was in first grade. I knew I liked hanging around with other boys on the playground. How their hair smelled. How their faces looked. I didn't know it was called being "gay" until I moved to Southern California at age 8.

 

WW: AWWW! THAT’S SO CUTE!

 

MO: When I moved to So Cal, I heard the word "faggot" for the first time. And it was used against me for the way I dressed. I very quickly realized that what I was and who I was "wrong." So it was a long process of hiding myself. I grew up in a very ethnic and urban neighborhood. Lots of name-brand, designer clothes, even in elementary school.

And here's this dork wearing tight clothes from Mervyn's. I looked retarded. So I didn't come out until 2002; 10 years later. I first came out to my godfather. It was a disaster. A complete disaster.

 

WW: You were nineteen?

 

MO: Almost.

 

WW: Still, that’s a long time.

 

MO: Oh yeah. A very long time of pretending.

 

WW: What happened with your godfather?

 

MO: Well, I had told him earlier in the day that I was having a spiritual problem and that I needed to talk to him about getting some guidance. See, I'd been in the process of becoming Catholic for the past year. So I'd had my baptism, First Communion, and Confirmation the previous month. A large reason why I did it and went through the classes and whatnot was because I believed that I was gay because I'd never truly believed in God. I reasoned that if I was baptized, I would become pure again. As if I was a kid.Of course, it didn't work,  I felt even worse than before. I was still gay. I still had sexual attraction to other guys. Nothing went away. So, that same day, I came out to my godfather and told him everything. About knowing I was gay from an early age. About becoming Catholic to make it go away. And how nothing had changed. Silence. For a long time and then he told me that it was my problem. He couldn't help me at all. And from then until his family kicked me out of the house he refused to speak to me. So I went nearly 3 months without him talking to me. Sometimes, he wouldn't even acknowledge I was in the room.

 

WW: Did you have anyone else who accepted you?

 

 

 

MO: I didn't tell anyone else. I was so terrified! My worst fears about coming out had come true. The next person I came out to was my priest at church. I still believed that I was simply doing something basic wrong. So, in confession, I told him everything too.

But he became upset when I told him that I was ok with being gay. I just wanted to go to heaven. And he told me that was impossible. So I told him that seemed ridiculous. So in retaliation he outed me in mass that afternoon. During a hominy about sin, he said that there were "sinners amongst us" and that we've got to turn our brethren towards Christ. He pointed at me and said I had refused the love of Christ and chose the love of man over God. I stormed out and the news that I was gay spread amongst the whole Catholic community. It wasn't that much longer after that that I came out to my first "friend."And that went surprisingly well. He was very accepting and as I began to lose friends who weren't comfortable with my sexuality, I found a small pocket of friends I could be myself with.

 

WW: What are your feelings on gay marriage, adoption, and on family life?

 

MO: Well, I support gay marriage and feel that we're in the midst of a civil rights movement. I think the issue could be solved easier if we just allowed religious organizations to keep "marriage" and just allow homosexuals to have domestic partnerships that provide all the same rights as marriage.

 

WW: What about adoption/family life?

 

MO: Well, I'm definitely in support of allowing gay adoptions. Personally, I don't want any children, but I certainly find it absurd to claim that a "gay" family is worse than a "straight" family. Plus, there's the ridiculous notion that, no matter how irresponsible, a "traditional" family is always better.

 

WW: The Catholic catechism states homosexuals are equal persons who are called to chastity, that a person is not lesser for being gay but that the lifestyle itself is sinful. What is your response to that?

 

MO: Well, the use of the word "lifestyle" is ridiculous in itself. Just because you're gay does not mean engaging in gay sex nor does it mean you're part of this "lifestyle" they speak of. Perhaps they mean the promiscuous, over-sexual, drugged up party scene. As if having sex with someone of the same gender means you'll be doing that too. I've always detested the word. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm prone to late night dance parties and drug use. Even then, what do they mean? That the act of homosexual sex is a sin, but not the thought? And if homosexuals are called to chastity, does that mean they can NEVER have sex? But heterosexuals can, once they're married?

-----

 

Ok, yeah, I liked that. Tell me what you think!

 

Some people have a way with words. Some of them are musicians. Sometimes we find certain quotes that strike a chord from our favorites. So DJ Rossstar and I have each picked five of our favorites. No further words from us. We’ll let this group do the talking

 

Johnnynotsid’s Top 5:

 

5. “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most” Ozzy Osbourne

 

 

4. "Any list of advice I have to offer to a musician always ends with, 'If it itches, go and see a doctor.'" David Bowie

 

 

 

3. Why aren't I on the cover of Hip Hop Magazine? I never sung a note in my life. I was fucking rapping since '65. 'Life is Unfair.' I think I know that. [to a sideman] Did you know life is unfair?”

 Lou Reed

 

 

 

2. “Everyone talks about rock these days; the problem is they forget about the roll.”

Keith Richards

 

 

1.“'When my daughters were young, I'd walk them past the butcher store, and I'd say, `That used to be a lamb, and that used to be a bird. In our society, it's legal to kill them.' Then I would show them a joint, and say, 'This is an herb that grows in the ground, and you can go to jail for having this, but you can kill an animal.' In this family, we will always live outside the law.” Chrissie Hynde.

 

 

DJ Rossstar’s Top Five:

 

5. “We're not arrogant, we just believe we're the best band in the world.”
Noel Gallagher

 

 

4. “We're definitely not jaded. We never really considered ourselves serious musicians who are changing music. We're just kids who wanted to be in a band.”
Joel Madden

 

 

3.“I wanted to be in a band that gave bang for the buck. I wanted to be in the band who didn't look like a bunch of guys who, you know, should be in a library studying for their finals.”
Gene Simmons

 

 

2. "Punk has nothing to do with what label you're on"

Tom Delonge

 

 

1. “A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!” - Billie Joe Armstrong

 

I’m dedicating this part to my incredible friend Rob who has done something totally wonderful and beautiful for me. Now without further ado, the ladies of the hour.

Nina Simone:

Nina Simone’s defining career lasted almost fifty years. As a pianist, singer, songwriter, and civil rights activist she inspired thousands. While mostly classified as a jazz musician Nina refused to be labeled and reached out to millions. Her incredible talents as a pianist spoke for themselves while she spoke for so many through her gutsy, honest lyrics. Her attitude was one of a kind and her career made it possible for so many other women to get out there and sing their songs. Known as the “High Priestess of Soul” she influenced the likes of Lauryn Hill, Alicia Keys, and one of my favorites, Muse!
Ain’t Got No… I’ve Got Life

BR>
Patsy Cline:

Country and pop knows the incredible force of this woman’s songs. Patsy is one of the most revered singers of the twenty-first century and a hero to so many. Her expressions were layered and heavy, her tones deep and full. Her influence shows in pretty much every singer to utter a note and her songs like Sweet Dreams and Faded Love are timeless.
Walkin’ After Midnight



Dolly Parton:

Dolly Parton is not just a bra-breaker (Sorry, couldn’t help myself), she is a groundbreaker too. As a singer, songwriter and composer her career has spanned over fifty years. She began singing as a child, but at first, her success as a songwriter was most prominent. Like Carole King, she wrote songs for other people which went on to be huge hits. At first just touted as a bubblegum singer, Dolly made her mark with her incredible album Hello I’m Dolly. Years later she rocks just as hard. And she makes fun of herself. Because she’s cool.

Nine to Five (!!!!)


Kim Gordon:

She learned bass playing along to reggae records when her boyfriend Thurston needed a bassist for his “Anti-Wave” band. Strangely enough, they eventually went on to start Sonic Youth, one of the most famous and influential bands, known especially amoung the New Wave scene. For twenty-six years this chick has been playing like a madwoman and made her talents known very early on. She was not only revered and adored by Kurt Cobain of Nirvana but she was specifically asked by Eric Erlandson and Courtney Love to produce Hole’s debut album Pretty on the Inside. Kim is a hero.
Bull In the Heather



Barbra Streisand:

When I was seven I would visit my grandparents almost every weekend. The minute I got there I insisted we watch Hello Dolly! Barbra Streisand is the most successful female entertainer in American history not only commercially but critically as well. Her emotional, quirky vocals dominated charts in the sixties when her ranks should have gone to the Beatles. That’s right. She was bigger than a Beatle.
The Way We Were in 1975



Kate Bush:

I can not believe I have gone this long without mentioning Kate Bush.

Her lyrics have always been weird and fascinating. Her rythms and melodies incredible. And she just defines rock and roll. A leader to outcasts as well as hipsters, Kate’s been active for over thirty years and her reputation precedes her. Johnny Rotten worships the ground she walks on. She’s been covered by Placebo. And she’s influenced Bjork, Sinead O’Connor and Bloc Party. What more could you want from a woman? Other than to be her?

Running Up That Hill



Christine McVie:

Christine McVie was the “Earth Queen” or Fleetwood Mac who first rose to prominence as the pianist of british blues band Chickenshack, later became a successful solo artist and then became a Fleetwood Mac Superstar. Her songs are upbeat, catchy, and she writes great love and heartbreak songs. She has been described as one of the best crafters of pop songs in the age of rock and roll and pumped out hit after hit. But even with her strictly commercial sounding pop melodies, she could always play blues piano just the way Peter Green liked it.

“You Make Loving Fun”


Next Part will feature: PJ Harvey, Annie Wilson, Mama Cass Elliot, Patti Sciafla, Bjork, and Patti La Belle

Buzznet Music Razzies: The Results

 

 

You nominated! You voted! You bitched! You insulted (and not just the artists)! And you giggled! You laughed! You cried! You made starnge face! You did all sorts of creepy unnatural things we don’t want to know about (Or, wait, those were the Caligula Award Nominees)! Now, here are your winners! .... Losers! ... Whatevers!

 

Artists: Congratulations! You suck!

 

Category One:

Get a Day Job, Don’t Quit It (Worst Artist)

Paris Hilton 37% (Not Hot. Or talented.)

Hannah Montana 21% (Disney Dirge)

Avril Lavigne 15% (Motherfucking Princess of Puerile Garbage)

 

Category Two:

Go Back to the Studio and We’ll Pretend this Never Happened (Worst Album by a Good Artist)

            Eat Me, Drink Me ~ Marilyn Manson 25% (He sucks at breakups)

            The Black Parade ~ My Chemical Romance 22%(Never try to be Queen again)

Sam’s Town ~ The Killers 22% (The only thing more pathetic than MCR trying to be Queen? These guys trying to be The Boss)

 

Category Three:

And this, Children, is Why We Don’t Give Shitty Artists Record Deals (Worst Album by a Bad Artist)

High School Musical I & II  26% (Do the people behind this thing even like this crap?)

Paris ~ Paris Hilton 20% (How does something so not hot give such a nasty burn?)

Playing With Fire ~ Kevin Federline 17% (Um... does this need a joke?)

 

            Category Four:

Don’t Try This At Home... Or Anywhere (Worst Cover)

John Lennon’s “Imagine” ~ Avril Lavigne 32% (Imagine all the people.. living without Lavigne... Ooh-hoo)

                        Metallica’s “Fuel” ~ Avril Lavigne 13% (That’s just nasty)

Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” ~ Lindsay Lohan 11% (She didn’t even know the lyrics! I swear!)

 

Category Five:

Lies! (Most Overrated Artist)

            Panic! At the Disco 17% (Fluffy shirts do not make you inventive)

            50 Cent 16% (Want to know how much he is worth? Look to the left)

            Tokio Hotel 14% (Still lame)

 

 

 

 

 

Category Six:

 Say What? (Most idiotic Musician Quote)

            "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey 40%

            “We need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these fucking shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this shit. Dating shows that’s showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let’s talk about shit like that! If that’s not fucking up America, I don’t know what is.”-- Ja Rule 12%

            “I go to overseas places, like Canada”--- Britney Spears 10%

 

Category Seven:

 To the Thunderdome With You! (Most Pathetic Band Feud)

            The Killers vs. Fall Out Boy/Panic! At the Disco/Green Day/Tom Delonge/The Bravery 30% (Repeated offender!)

            Marilyn Manson vs. My Chemical Romance 21% (Manson with his enormous ego, counted himself among the many [admitted] artists MCR ripped off)

            The Used vs. My Chemical Romance 16% (Still no word on what they are fighting about)

 

Category Eight:

The Mmmm... Bop! Award for Most Annoying Single

            Girlfried ~ Avril Lavigne 27% (Theft is not good)

            Umbrella ~ Rihanna 14% (There is no hope, is there?)

            You’re Beautiful ~ James Blunt 12% (Even James Blunt hates this song)

 

Category Nine:

Would You Like Fires With That? (Most Pathetic Band Member Solo Outing)

            Sonny Moore 33% (That’s embarrassing)

            Nicole Scherzinger 20% (We don’t wish you upon anyone)

            Fergie 13% (Not Delicious)

 

            Category Ten:

The Caligula Award for Most Astounding Scandal/Rumor

                        Marilyn Manson’s Entire Career 37% (Not exactly surprising)

                        The Manson Family Murders 17% (Ick. Ick ick ick icky-poo)

That rumor about Led Zeppelin using a red snapper shark as a Sex toy on an 18-year-old groupie 9% (That’s still fun to type)

 

 

Category Eleven:

Go Back to Guitar Hero (Worst Live Act)

            Ashlee Simpson 51% (Can you say landslide?)

            Britney Spears 16% (No comment)

            Avril Lavigne 11% (She is absolutely WOODEN!)

 

Category Twelve:

Panic! at the Fudge Tunnel Apparatus (Worst Band Name)

!!! 20% (Yep, that’s a band)

Fudge Tunnel 16% (Just in case you can’t figure it out, it       does means rectum)

The Cheetah Girls 14% (How much thought went into this? Seriously)

 

Category Thirteen:

The Mick Jagger Award For Worst Attempt by a Musician at Acting

Avril Lavigne 25% (That’s right, someoneactually beat Mariah)

Mariah Carey 19% (But not by much)

Pete Wentz 17% (Somehow failed at playing himself)

 

Category Fourteen:

The Keanu Reeves Award for Worst Attempt by a Movie Star at Being a Rock Star

            Vanessa Hudgens 34% (Nice job, Vanexxxa)

            David Hasselhoff 19% (Aw, poor Hoff)

            Jared Leto 11% (*gets popcorn*)

 

Category Fifteen:

The Pen is More Painful Than The Sword (Worst Lyrics)

“I’m the one/I’m the one who knows the dance/ I’m the one/I’m the one who’s got the prance” ~ Avril Lavigne 29% (This is her fourth win)

“Buy you a drank!” ~ T-Pain 17% (Even sadder reading comments about this in chatspeak)

“I Want More!” ~ High School Musical (Take it all, just go away)

 

Category Sixteen:

Not Thrilling. (Worst Attempt at Being Edgy or Political)

            Paris Hilton 32% (When you tell people to vote, it’s best you vote too)

            Ashlee Simpson 20% (What? When?)

            Fall Out Boy 11% (I am avoiding that video like the plague)

 

Category Seventeen:

The LAME! It BURNS! (Worst Attempt at Being Hip and Cool)

            High School Musical 24% (This is why people hate high school)

            Hannah Montana 19% (What happened to good Disney stuff? Like Sleeping Beauty?)

            Kevin Federline 16% (FAIL FAIL FAIL)

 

Category Eighteen:

You Legacy Will Forever Make Us Gag (Worst Artist from Decades Past)

            Aaron Carter 22% (Shocker his reality show failed)

            Billy Ray Cyrus 17% (You know his daughter Miley?)

            Milli Vanilli 17% (Girl, we know it’s not true)

 

Once Again, I’d like to remind everyone I did not pick the nominees or the winners. You did.

Your live show is no laughing matter if you’re a musician, and some people take not only how they sound but how they look VERY seriously. Now that’s what we call devotion! Now in tribute to those who are not only gifted musically but have distinct, awesome and outrageous fashion sense, DJ Rossstar and Johnnynotsid have come up with their favorite rockers who dress for the stage.

5. Regine Chassagne, Arcade Fire

Regine is a very gifted girl from Montreal who is part of a very talented and acclaimed band known as Arcade Fire. Not only is she an exceptional songwriter and composer as well as Hurdy-gurdy, accordion, piano, and organ player AND singer and drummer, but she also dresses super weird and super-fierce. Her dresses are adorable and she knows just what compliments her. Sure, she had to dress like an Amish funeral attendee during the tour for her band’s first album Funeral, but now that Arcade Fire's new album Neon Bible is released, she gets to dress like this:

4. My Chemical Romance - A band that really needs no introduction. So I’m just going to post more pictures. Teehee.

3. Siouxsie Sioux The Banshee wonder woman is one of the most daring fashionistas in rock and roll. She was an icon of the 70s British punk movement and pure sex. Her dark, outrageous dominatrix look and crazy makeup inspired most of your favorite artists (see above). And countless people tell tales of being able to even TOUCH one of her boas. Feast your eyes upon Madam Siouxsie.



2. David Bowie The Thin White Duke. Aladdin Sane. Jareth the Goblin King. Ziggy Stardust. Just a few of the many personas his Highness has invented, having fresh new looks since the seventies. One of the most influential artists in the world as well as the ultimate glam-rock icon (Screw you, Gary Glitter)





Stevie Nicks (Oh, come on, you knew this was coming) Stevie Nicks has been around since the seventies and first created her amazing and gorgeous look in 1975, assuming the identity of “Rhiannon” a witch from Welsh Legend and the subject of her first hit. Since she has gone on to be the Queen of Rock and Roll. The Bella Donna, the Gypsy, and the Sorceress. She has the guts to wear the stuff you are afraid to wear on Halloween and she looks incredible. And she can dance in platform heels and write crazy shit like “Gold Dust Woman” and “Planets of the Universe.” Time for you to pledge undying allegiance to her right now.



 

DJ Rossstar’s Picks: 5. Masks. Wacky hats. Pajama pants. You never know what you're gonna get when you see Peachake perform live.

4. Monsters and blood. GWAR will either make you laugh hysterical or cry yourself to sleep at night.

3.The Sound of Animals Fighting. Ram, Tiger. Raven. Tortoise. Who is behind those realistic animal masks?



2.Van Stone. With axe-guitars, leather jackets and spikes -- 80's metal is alive every time Van Stone enter a room.



1. The Network. One resembles a mummy, one looks like a wrestler and another wears a gas mask. The five members of The Network are dressed to impress --do you know what famous rock band is under the masks? I do!

I am not making this up.

Okay, there is a line between teaching your kids the mechanics of sex and whipping out a dildo, I get that. But when your parents go over the top, that's when you go "EWWWWWWWWWW."

Not when it's time for the state to arrest her.

Right. We should totally not have parents telling their kids about sex. Leave it to the schools controlled by the government. Why should the woman who gave birth to you tell you about it? That dumb bitch should be helping you with your homework and leaving your sexual education to the public schools and the wonderful world of internet porn!

I know this sounds crazy, but whatever happened to family values? You know, love, trust and comfort with your family. The ability to talk to your kids about sensitive subjects like sex without going to jail?

This really bothers me.

"In the agreement, Smalley pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of exposing a child to harmful material in exchange for the dismissal of a felony charge of exposing a child to harmful descriptions."

 

Wait, so exposure to harmful material is a misdemeanor but harmful description is a felony?

Huh?

Sex ed in schools is one thing. Putting a parent in jail for talking to their kids about sex is a whole other thing.

Isn't that the JOB of a parent?

And though she definitely went overboard, she seems like a really good parent. Pleading guilty and going on probation to spare your children the embarrassment and distress of having to testify sounds like damn heroic parenting and proof that this chick has her children's best interests at heart.

This really freaks me out though.

Why is this a crime?

She was not abusing them. She was not making them have sex or watch her have sex. She was not doing anything wrong.

If this is against the law then we seriously need some instant changes around here. I'm terrified.

This is so hilarious... There are no words...

MUSE HONOUR AXED
Movie & Entertainment News provided by World Entertainment News Network (www.wenn.com)

Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you something that is not news and something that is news.

Not News: Some people are stupid. Like, really really stupid.

News: It's been about 180 years since the first controversy of suffrage in America came forth and people still don't know what feminism means.

 

 

I now present Geri Halliwell's interview with the Guardian in which this passage says:

"So, is Halliwell a feminist?

The question clearly hits a nerve: what, she asks quickly, do I mean by feminism? Well, I tell her, for me feminism is about the fact that women still aren't treated equally, which raises issues of justice. OK, concedes Halliwell, maybe she is a feminist: but she has a few distinct caveats. One objection seems to be that she fears feminism will emasculate and demoralise men: but her bigger problem is its image. "It's about labelling. For me feminism is bra-burning lesbianism. It's very unglamorous. I'd like to see it rebranded. We need to see a celebration of our femininity and softness."

Fair point, actually, which is part of the reason I am posting this. Bit of a more pressing issue? Well, first of all, the only thing that gets reported is this part:

"It's about labelling. For me feminism is bra-burning lesbianism. It's very unglamorous. "

And I went to those blogs reporting only this part of her statement.

And it gets better, because I actually fooled myself into thinking that the comments on this would be intelligent despite being ill-informed, unfortunately, a good chunk of them ran along these lines:

 

"Feminism is passé. We all know men and women are different. Why not celebrate the differences and the qulities that make each gender unique. I certainly am not threatened by skills and aptitudes a woman posesses that I do not. Feminism has only tried to drive a wedge between men and women and has served only to create bitter individuals in both genders. Let us move past bitterness and learn to respect one and other and what they can contribute."

Ok.

Once again:

 

Wanting equal rights is passe?

Outdated?

We should move past this? Campaigning for equal rights?

It tries to drive a wedge. Excuse me?

The whole aim of the movement is to unite us and make us equal!

No, I don't necessarily think whoever wrote that is a misogynist.

My philosophy is you're either a feminist or a sexist person (misandrist or misogynist). Feminism is equality.

EQUALITY.

EQUAL RIGHTS.

IF YOU THINK WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED THE SAME RIGHTS AND OPPORTUNITIES AS MEN, THEN YOU ARE A MISOGYNIST AND THEREFORE SEXIST.

LIKEWISE, IF YOU ARE A WOMAN WHO BELIEVES MEN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED THE SAME RIGHTS AS WOMEN, THEN YOU ARE A MISANDRIST AND THEREFORE SEXIST.

Now, the comment up above is not by someone who I think is a misogynist at all. The problem is, I think he's a feminist and does not even realize it because like Ms Halliwell, he believes feminists are all "bra-burning" misandrists who love to push the gender issue only to win an argument a la Hilary Clinton. The problem is, I don't think people really know the definition of feminism.

No, it's not all lesbian man-hating with aspirations of women ruling the world and oppressing men.

In fact, none of it is.

That's the antithesis of feminism, just as much as women-hating with aspirations of oppressing women and denying them huiman rights is.

Okay, so once again:

FEMINISM:

THE DOCTRINE ADVOCATING SOCIAL, POLITICAlL, AND ALL OTHER RIGHTS OF WOMEN EQUAL TO THOSE OF MEN

AN ORGANIZED MOVEMENT FOR THE ATTAINMENT OF SUCH RIGHTS FOR WOMEN

FEMININE CHARACTER

 

And  my own personal addition:

The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of men equal to those of women.

I AM A FEMINIST

I want everyone who believes in equality between the sexes who read this journal to comment with those words in all caps.

And, on a further personal note:

Me:

My bra. My PINK bra. And awesome shoes:

Me being happy with my bra:

(Why does it look like I'm eating it?)

 

So there.

 

Sorry for the delay people. I've been so busy and on top of that I've actually written this THREE TIMES and it got deleted EACH TIME. So, without further ado, I give you part two of important women in music....


Joni Mitchell:
Joni Mitchell is an extremely influential Canadian singer/guitarist who's career began in 1967 when she was a figurehead of the Southern California folk-rock scene. Soon Joni went on to experiment in jazz, pop and rock and roll. But what sets Joni apart is her guitar playing. Joni is unique in her usage of Travis picking, or finger-picking, which enabled her to play multiple melodies at once and make the overall sound more rich. On top of that, she created unusual tunings for standard chords, altogether changing the sound they made. She christened them "Joni's weird chords." Furthermore, she developed a method of slapping the guitar, adding percussion and being able to create a full orchestration with her guitar. Her accomplishments as both a songwriter and singer have earned her not only a spot in the rock and roll hall of fame but five grammy awards. Her legacy is far reaching, inspiring artists such as Connor Oberst, Prince, Madonna, Elvis Costello, Tori Amos, and Morrissey.


Playing "Both Sides Now" in 1970



June Carter Cash:

June Carter Cash began performing at the age of ten in 1939 and her career spanned to her death in 2003. She began as a member of her famous family's band, The Carters and quickly set herself apart from her relatives. While showing the greatest amount of dedication to her music and songwriting (also playing the autoharp, guitar, and banjo), she developed her own unique skill in comedy. By the time she was 27, she was one of the biggest stars in country music. Though well known for her role in Johnny Cash's band (and as his wife), she also amassed a large catalogue of fantastic songs and albums as a solo artist, work which earned her three grammy awards. The songs she wrote were pure, soulful country gold and the song she is probably best known for is the one she wrote for her third husband and musical partner Johnny Cash, 'Ring of Fire.' She has influenced not only her famous husband but also pretty much every country singer that she has predated. Her legacy lives on in the memories of her sassy and exuberant performances and brilliant and beautiful music.

Doing "I'm Alright Now" and a skit with her cousin Anita in 1956




Nico:
The "Chanteuse" of the Velvet Undergound (you know, that band that invented alternative music?) and influential solo artist, German singer/pianist/songwriter Nico has a far-reaching legacy as not only The Velvet's second lead singer but also with her solo work, which is largely considered one of the first incarnations of Goth music. Largely ignored in comparison with bandmate Lou Reed's solo career, Nico nonetheless made her mark. She began her musical career in the sixties as an active member of Andy Warhol's factory house scene, but truly came into her own as a songwriter with her critically acclaimed solo work, working with Brian Eno and Bob Dylan. In particular, with her third album Desertshore, in which she wrote the lyrics and composed the music and played what was to become her signature instrument, the harmonium. Nico's haunting stage presence and deep, intoxicating voice also gave a distinct sound which was a grreat factor into making The Velvet Underground such an original sound. Her career lasted until her tragic death in 1988. She influenced the likes of Souixsie and the Banshees, Morrissey, Stevie Nicks, and Bjork.

Performing "Femme Fetale" in 1981



Madonna:
Madonna Ciccone has been defining pop music for a quarter century. One of the most controversial, ambitious and versatile singers in music history, Madonna's career speaks for itself.... Wait a second, you know who Madonna is.... Why the Hell am I even trying? She doesn't need an introduction!

Performing "Holiday" in 1984




Debbie Harry:

The Blondie singer has been a major force in Punk-rock, New Wave, and disco music for almost forty years. Not only as the frontwoman for Blondie and a solo artist, but for The Wind and the Willows, The Stilettos, and The Jazz Passengers. An icon of punk style, her imposing stage presence was so recognizable, people began to believe that her name actually was Blondie, starting the campaign of "Blondie is a Group." Debbie also is recognized as a songwriter as well as performer, of course, responsible for songs like "Heart of Glass," "Dreaming," and "Rip Her To Shreds." I love this woman.

Singing "The Tide Is High" in 1981


Carole King:
Talk about an icon! Carole King had been writing hits for artists like Aretha Franklin, The Monkees, and The Animals since 1958. However, it was with her 1972 album Tapestry, that Carole was finally recognized. Tapestry was one of the defining albums of the 70s, the guidebook of piano-pop perfection which stayed on the billboard charts for six years. But Carole King continues to make music even today, a perfect example of a woman who lasts. In 1997 she was inducted into both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriter’s Hall of Fame. And she’s crazy! (In the good way)

Singing “I Feel the Earth Move” in 2005




Chrissie Hynde:
Chrissie Hynde in my opinion is the most iconic woman in punk rock. A singer, song-writer, and great rock and roll guitarist, Chrissie was and still is spunk, edge, and fun. Her band the Pretenders were one of the most enjoyably crazy bands of the seventies and eighties and her reputation as a precocious and accomplished songwriter bears no tarnish. Be prepared to have your faces blown off.

With the Pretenders in 1981 playing “Message of Love”



I’d like to apologize for the shitty writing in this installment. I wrote this thing about three times and it kept getting deleted by accident and I’m afraid it kind of sucked the soul out of my writing. I promise the next one will be better. Next Installment will feature: Nina Simone, Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Kim Gordon, Barbara Streisand (father’s demand), Kate Bush, and Christine McVie.