johnnynotsid

UPDATE: NOMINATIONS FOR WORST ARTIST ARE OFFICIALLY CLOSED!

Everyone, I need your to give me your suggestions!

Pick a maximum of TWO choices for each of these categories! Thanks!

1)Most overrated band/artist
2)Worst band/artist
3)Worst album made by a good artist
4)Worst album made by a bad artist
5)Worst debut
6)Dumbest Musician Quote
7)Most idiotic band feud
8)Worst band name
9)Worst cover
10)Worst lyrics
11)Most annoying single
12)Worst Live Act
13)Most depressing band member solo career
14)Worst attempt by actor trying to be a rock star
15)Worst attempt by rock star trying to be an actor
16)Worst Attempt at Being Edgy or Political
17)Worst Attempt at Being Cool and Hip
18)Most overplayed song
19)Worst musician clothing line
20)Worst musician from decades past



PLEASE I NEED HELP!! JUST PICK TWO CHOICES YOU THINK SUIT THE CATEGORIES! YOU DONT HAVE TO COME UP WITH CHOICES FOR ALL OF THEM, JUST AS MANY AS YOU CAN THINK OF!

YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU WONT REGRET THIS!

NO ONE START FIGHTING OVER THE CHOICES PEOPLE PICK THIS IS NO PLACE TO START A WAR!

UPDATE: NOMINATIONS FOR WORST ARTIST ARE OFFICIALLY CLOSED!

Since I love April so much, I thought I'd send her some birthday wishes.

April, 23 years you have lived. But it seems you've been stinking up music for ages. So for all your contributions to all things suck, I wish you these things for your birthday:

- A foot up your ass (to replace the stick)

- A brain, jellyfish woman

- A (halfway) decent personality

- A downfall  into obscurity

- Larynx removal surgery

- Another douche bag to match your husband

- Herpes

- A date with Phil Spector or Ike Turner

- Unclean drinking water

- Dysentary as a result of unclean drinking water

- A visit from "the hurricane thing"

-Anal Warts

- A medical plan designed by Kevorkian

- A career path similar to that of your new bff Britney Spears

- A beatdown from Chrissie Hynde, Souixsie Souix, Stevie Nicks, Patti Smith, and Ari Upp

- The same salary as your "people"

-smallpox

- Dick in a Box (Charles Manson's, not Justin Timberlake's)

I've been tagged by kitten76 and as she predicted, I succumbed and made an exception to my no-tag rule. to write my top 10 favorite bands. This is actually torture, as to narow it down to ten is cruel and unusual punishment. No particular order. I cheated a bit by putting the solo acts of certain members in with the band so I would not have to give up too much. But I am no too guilty about it to be honest.

10) The Pixies

9) The Velvet Underground/Lou Reed

8) MC5

7) Patti Smith/ Patti Smith Group

6) Fleetwood Mac/Lindsey Buckingham/Stevie Nicks

5) Souixsie and the Banshees

4) My Chemical Romance

3) Arcade Fire

2) The Ramones

1) David Bowie

No particular order, as I've said.

Many of you on here know at least somewhat my friend Janedope/Danielle. Danielle is australian. She's a fan of MCR and a moderater on the MCR group Ashley and I started. She has a lot of friends on here and often entertains us with clever and witty anecdotes about the routine shit going on in her life that she turns into comedic gold. It's a saying that good comedians say funny things, and great comedians say things funny. Danielle does both.

But she is much more than funny.

Danielle is kind-hearted and sympathetic. How many times have I whined to her about petty shit in my life? Countless. It's a bit crazy considering she lives a gazillion miles away. She's older than me and has been through it all and more, and she always gives me comfort and advice. Even more, Danielle encourages me. Half of the time when I write in this blog, I'm thinking about her response. She often makes the best comments: straight, to the point, intelligent, and funny.

Intelligent is another thing about her. That's what she is. She knows so much and always has an interesting way of looking at things. She is not impulsive in the things she says, but rather thinks things through and considers everything carefully (definitely something I can learn from her). I often ask her advice as to things I should write or how I should say something. She always has a good idea.

Did I mention we have a lot in common? Danielle was the first person I could find on here who is as much as a music dork as I am. The first person here who truly understood the importance of Patti Smith's banjo cover of "Smells Like Teen Spirit," or of making sure to put a video of the MC5 right after it so that Patti and Sonic would be next to each other. She's the only one who I can talk in-depth and at lengths with about Stevie Nicks lyrics. And when we both read crazy shit by teenies, we're always immediately on the same page as to how it's stupid and why everything they say is stupid. Only difference is, while Danielle can laugh about it, I get mad. She calms me down and often stops me from posting something stupid. And she does not even know she is doing it.

Most of all Danielle is thoughtful. Good God. She constantly posts media about the terrors of the world to raise awareness. But somehow she manages to be very anti-ego about it. She's always ready update me on something awesome/interesting give me a shout out in her journals. I don't comment on her stuff enough.

However, in a couple of days, it is her 18th birthday. I'm giving her a tribute here, doing the only thing I can think of that can come close to giving her what she deserves: an essay about how great she is. Unfortunately, I don't have enough talent to express how amazing she is in one journal (she really thinks too much of me).

So, all this week, I'm going to try to post all new examples as to how great she is, and try and post media she will love. This is Notsid's Danielle Week. She has been my biggest online fan for so long, and this week I will try to pay her back in kind.

Congratulations Danielle, and Happy Birthday. I love you.

                 Special knowledge holds truth bears believing

            Many of the kids my age have started reading a series of books written by author Stephanie Meyer. The books, Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, have become National bestsellers and have been hyped as the heir to Harry Potter and Anne Rice. The story is of a teenage girl called Bella who moves to the rainy Washington State town of Forks to live with her father. When she starts attending High School there, she is taken aback by the sudden amount of male attention, and even more so by the intense distaste one boy in her school seems to hold for her. This boy and his siblings fascinate Bella with their ethereal beauty, grace, and exclusion from the other students. After a couple of weeks, in which Bella obsesses over the strange encounter with the boy, named Edward, he comes back and is suddenly friendly. It is revealed to her that the boy’s family, the Cullens, are outsiders in Forks. After a strange accident where Bella miraculously survives by the impossible efforts of Edward (holding a truck over his head to stop it from crushing her) she digs deeper, obsessed with his strange nature. She discovers through an old family friend and member of the nearby Native American tribe that the legends are that the Cullens are vampires who do not eat humans. This turns out to be true. Edward and Bella fall in love and she becomes close to the family, yearning for immortality. Later on she is targeted by a rouge vampire and is almost killed after making an completely idiotic decision, but is saved. In the second book, Edward leaves her after a near-fatal accident on her birthday. She is left heartbroken, horrified, and catatonic and after months of total empty existance, is forced by her father to start talking to people and doing things again. She finds solace in her old family friend Jacob who told her the legends about the Cullens and decides to do as many risky and stupid things as she could to defy Edward’s request that she be careful and hear his voice in her head. Jacob later gets sucked into a strange group of kids who he formerly distrusted, but it is later revealed to Bella his sudden seclusion of her is because he has become a were-wolf and joined the pack of his tribe (ancestory thing) to protect Forks from a bloodthirsty vampire invading their territory. It is discovered that said vampire is Victoria, the mate of the vampire Edward killed and saved Bella from in the first book, and that she is targeting Bella for revenge. Victoria is chased off. After this Bella decides that she wants to take another stupid risk and jump off a high cliff into a lake like she saw the were-wolves doing. Problem? Storm. She nearly dies. Edward’s sister Alice (who can see visions of the future) has a vision of Bella jumping but does not see Jacob saving Bella. She comes back to Forks to see if Bella is still alive. Unfortunately, word gets to Edward that Bella did in fact kill herself. In agony, Edward goes off to find the Vampire Mafia living in Italy to provoke them into killing him. Alice and Bella then immediately embark on a rescue mission to Italy and save him. After this, Edward explains that he does indeed love Bella and wants to stay with her forever. However, Jacob’s pack and the Cullens are natural enemies, so Bella is caught between the two. The books ends with the Cullens deciding to make Bella a vampire on her graduation. In Eclipse, we find the couple leading up to the days of the graduation and Bella being torn between her werewolf best friend and vampire boyfriend and trying to figure out how to maintain relationships with both. Meanwhile, a slew of killings goes on in Seattle. Later on, someone invades Bella room and steal clothes and it becomes apparent that Victoria has returned again with an army of uber-powerful newborn vampires to catch Bella. The vampires and werewolves are forced to unite and stop them. It works. It ends with Bella agreeing finally to marry Edward and saying her good-byes to Jacob, who she discovers she also has feelings for, and running off with Edward. Edward promises to take care of her and Jacob runs off and becomes a wolf permanently. The End.

Alright, before people accuse me of being jealous or whatever, I might as well run through all the good things about the book. It's rich in detail regarding the emotions of the characters. It is well-written. The aspects and characteristics of the supernatural creatures in the book are creative and unique. The backstories of different characters are fascinating. There are spot-on allusions to other works. It is romantic. You feel a draw to the vampires similar to the one Bella feels in the book. The books are long but engaging.

Ok.

Now my issues.

Everything that is wrong, annoying, frustrating, and stupid about these books lie in the truly awful characters. It seems the roles they all play in the story are all grossly mismatched and thus it has become easy for me to despise many of them. Especially Bella and Edward.

I touched a nerve, didn't I?

Sorry, but beneath the fluffy romance, claims the author makes, and the fairytale aspects of the book, you will find that Bella is a colorless, stupid, pathetic, helpless, ridiculous, weak, dependant, insecure wimp and Edward is a controlling, tempermental, obsessive, sanctimonious, oblivious, inconsiderate, slightly misogynistic, manipulative  douchebag with

outdated ideals and his head firmly shoved up his ass.

It's true.

Trust me, I did not just instantly come to this conclusion. I've read each book more than once and reflected on them carefully. The thing was, despite the books being total page-turners, something truly troubled me about these books. I tried to figure out what it was.

It was the fact that this story very sneakily goes against everything I believe in and is hypocritical in the very manner I despise. It all boils down to the couple of the story.

I knew Bella annoyed me early on, but I could not understand why at first. It's that even before encountering the Cullens, Bella has absolutely no goals, ambitions, hopes, dreams, or interests in anything. Right off the bat all she does is talk about how miserable she is and describe her surroundings with an apathetic tone until she meets the Cullens. See: Colorless. Now I would not mind so much because this kind of first attitude in a protagonist prior to meeting their soulmate is a great potential set up for their significant other to enrich and add color to their humdrum lives.

This does not happen.

Instead, Bella fails me. She finds a dream and an interest, but it's Edward and becoming a vampire. Nothing else. He becomes the only thing that matters, which brings on the dependancy issues. When he breaks up with her, she goes catatonic for six months, then once she actually manages to start emoting again, it's only cry some more about Edward and push herself into the arms of Jacob and try and break her promise to Edward to keep safe in order to hear his voice in her head. Now, if she were to move on, that would be fine. She never does. She trusts one boy to fill the void in her all on her own. When Edward comes back, not only does she refuse his apology for shattering her mental and emotional health and welcome him back with happy open arms, she also threatens to sever ties with her father if he tries to keep Edward away and attempts to conceal the pain he caused her so as not to upset him.

This reminds me, very unsettlingly, of Catherine of Aragon who despite having her heart broken a thousand times by her husband, never protested or showed the slightest emotion about it.

Bella proceeds not only to threaten her relationship with Jacob (nice payback for helping her become human again) in order to stay with Edward, but she also commits to becoming a vampire by graduation. Once again disregarding any hopes or ambitions in life to spend the rest of eternity with him. Edward proceeds to bar Bella from seeing Jacob, but also watches her like a hawk and imprison her in his house when he leaves to hunt. For once, Bella manages to defy him by escaping for a day with Jacob, but when Edward returns, she greets him with no anger about his sick imprisonment, only happiness at seeing him and fear of him being mad at her for seeing Jacob. She makes out with him.

In all this, Edward annoys the shit out of me. He tries to control everything Bella does and tries to restrict her in her life even when he is not there. He even has the nerve to ask Bella to promise not to do anything risky after breaking her heart. When he comes back he is constantly telling her what to do, watching her, and being insanely possessive. He even tries to keep Bella from seeing Jacob, even going so far as to dismantle her car engine one night when she wants to drive to the reservation.

Another aspect of their relationship is the sex stuff. Bella wants to sleep with Edward, who refuses out of concern that he might lose control of his super-human strength and kill her. Every time he feels they are getting too intimate, he uses his strength to stop her. Her constantly supresses her and wards her off. The situation is sickeningly reminiscent of the medieval idea that all women are temptresses trying to steal the virtue of men and take control of everything. Edward even insists on resisting a one point to preserve their virtue until they are married.

 This is characteristic of their relationship. Almost everything these two do is together is dictated by him. Edward is also allowed to make outright demands without compromise and use his strength to control the situation. Whenever Bella gets anything it's either by making a huge compromise or with the help of Jacob. To top it all off, Edward has this annoying habit of lying keeping things from her in order to "protect" her. And yet, Bella always trusts him!

She submits to him repeatedly and never complains when he uses his vampiric abilities to overpower her. She fails to assert herself constantly, which is part of the reasonshe gets into those messes. It's sad.

Even outisde their relationship, Bella is annoying. First of all, she is helpless. OK, magnet for trouble is okay. Clumsy and uncoordinated is fine. But if you put them together in the same person, I'm annoyed. She is totally helpless.

And despite Meyer telling us Bella is mature and smart, Bella really seems to be anything but. She is constantly making idiotic decisions (cliff-diving in a storm alone; walks alone through a dark forest alone when there are rumors of giant beasts attacking people; walks off alone at night in a dark, unfamiliar town; changes course when trying to escape a vampire thirsting for her blood; and approaches a bunch of drunks in the same unfamiliar town while out with a friend. Her impulsive decisions often cost and endanger the ones who love her, and her actual maturity seems to lie solely in the fact that she cooks dinner and does the laundry for her father.

The cherry on top of all this is Bella's reasons for not wanting to marry Edward. Her reasoning being that she does not want to be "that girl" and "the backwards small town hick who marries right out of high school." Yet, she is impatient on giving up her entire life in order to become an immortal vampire to live her life with Edward. She rejects all ideas of college and a career. I'm sorry Bella... what was your point again?

I'm not saying being a housewife or devoting yourself to a dude means you're not a feminist. I just mean that Bella's whole point is stupid.

Edward, meanwhile, is absolutely ridiculous in his obsession with control and suppression, not just of Bella, but of himself. He holds Bella every night despite the painful thirst he feels for her blood. He refuses to have sex until he is guilt-tripped into doing after the girl marries him. And despite all this, he does not seem to have the testicles to punch a guy when he kisses his girl. His whole breakup with Bella was his attempt at making Bella feel what he thought she should. And even after his poor judgement gets both of them nearly killed, he still tries to take control of everything. It's strange that someone who can read minds has their head so far up his ass. It's funny he is willing to tell Bella he'd commit suicide if she died, but never stops to ask her how she would feel if he left her. He can't read her mind, so wouldn't he be curious? Apparently he did not bother to ask.

Now, all this could have been rectified by Jacob, but alas, no. Jacob, while being impulsive and kissing Bella without her permission, at least is compatible with her. Bella actually manages to maintain a personality around him, which is nice. Plus she has a backbone around him. But he's rejected for Edward, which is sad, because I really don't get what Edward and Bella are going to do together for the rest of eternity. All they ever did together was discuss monsters, avoid danger, whisper sweet nothings to each other and kiss. Whereas when Bella was with Jacob, they did... stuff, which is more than I can say for her times with Edward.

And yet, despite Jacob teasing her and sometimes saying hurtful things, he at least was loyal. Despite instantly becoming a werewolf, joining a pack who did not want him around Bella, and suddenly being burdened with the responsibility of protecting the entire region, Jacob still does not leave her. Edward is quite used to being a vampire, his family is supportive, and his responsibilities consist of staying out of the sun and not eating people. But he leaves her. Jacob never left Bella. Jacob let Bella make her own decisions and take risks. Nevertheless he is not rewarded.

Then there are minor characters and how they seem to taunt me. Rosalie, for instance, showing up with that profound backstory. It was intriguing and fascinating and so ready to explore. But then she just leaves. There seems no reason for this abrupt recounting of her life.

Another thing that annoyed me was that there seemed absolutely no reason for the supernatural characters. The werewolves and vampires could easily be the Sharks and the Jets. Edward could be the pper class boy who wants to whisk Bella away from the small town existance, Jacob the "bad" boy. It's ridiculous.

I have since come to the conclusion that Edward is the perfect rrepresentation of what these books are: glossy, gorgeaus, romantic and fascinating and at the same time outdated and a bad lover for teenage girls. 

I'm sure what I've just written will cause a lot of anger and hatred towards me by fans of the book. And I'm sure you will all claim I am jealous of Stephanie Meyer. I'm not. I just think her books are a bad representation of life and the characters are appalling.

The fact is, you can't blame jealousy for my feelings on this series, even if I was envious. The reason for this is simply that I am insanely jealous of:

Anne Rice, Kurt Vonnegut, Jane Austen, Alexander Dumas, Louise Rennison, Agatha Christie, Antonia Frasier, and Alison Weir.

I would never, ever, EVER call their characters or stories bad. That's why I am jealous of them. I would never criticize a person on such petty grounds.

People, just read those books again if you hate me, and consider what I've said. I don't care if you enjoy them. You should.

Just don't admire or emulate the people in them. They're fucking idiots.

Even if I liked Avril Lavigne, I'd still make fun of her for this.

Her Top Ten Commandments to Live By.

Some Highlights!

"And anyway, if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."

What have I lost, exactly?

Really, hating Avril has had no effect on my life. And I'm sorry, but that has to be the most idiotic thing ever said. Can't she think of anything better to say? Oh yes, if we don't like you, we must be losers! Keep telling yourself that! Is Thurston Moore a loser? He sure as Hell does NOT like you.

"I've been looking at scripts for the past two years now and most of them have been shit, but I know I could be real good at it. "

So that either means what with films like "Babel," "Bridge to Terabithia," "The Queen," "Syriana," "Hairspray," "Superbad," and "The Wind That Shakes The Barley" amoung others, either you suck at picking scripts or no one wants to send you the good ones. Meanwhile, you've been in the masterpiece that is "Over The Hedge." Good Job.

"I'm not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. What kind? Feng shui, mostly, and energy."

Ah, Feng Shui, the ancient and holy art of furniture arrangement. That will get the Chakras going.

"It's important to be thankful, even if you're poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water - well OK, not people in the developing world. It's important to remember where we came from, and just how lucky we are to be here."

Score one for saying one of the most sanctimonious, arrogant, ignorant statements ever. Well I'm sure the starving third world kids should just follow your example and be thankful they don't have to listen to your music.

" I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, "Take it to Katrina!" I also like to give stuff to people who are my "workers," especially if they don't make much money."

Hmmmm.... Do you give them table scraps? Your "workers"? What are you, a Factory? Do you have a professional Ass-wiper? Hey, maybe instead of giving bad fake clothes to your "workers" you give them a raise since they don't make much money. Since you're so "Giving"

PS: Hurricane Katrina called. It loved the Tripp Plaid Skirt. And the victims who lost their homes and now live in Trailers managed to get a sock. They thank you too.

"When I go to a party, I am the party! I'm the girl doing shots, jumping on tables, screaming and getting wasted. Am I advocating drugs? No! When I say wasted, that doesn't mean I go crazy. Drink in moderation. Be responsible, yeah?"

No! Next time, don't totally contradict yourself, ok?

" I was 17 when my first album came out, and all of a sudden I had to spend my days doing interviews. Listen, when you are 17 you don't know how to hold a conversation with an adult, and you pretty much don't want to. But I learned to channel that annoyance into my music."

Oh darn. Those damn adults. How dare they talk to you? And grab you publicity? And make you millions off dollars? And now they want you to TALK? Assholes.

"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not."

Who wants to copy your look? Ew.

Why would I want to look like I dress according to the "How To Be Punk or Something" manual?

I managed to ignore you for five years. How did I manage to do that?

"Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people anymore without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, so I've learned how to cope."

If it has not affected you, then that means you have not learned to cope. Learning to cope means it has affected you. Dumbass.

Big News: Gerard married Lyn-Z.

Despite his rather mean, bitchy comments, his friendship with Parasite Hilton, and the huge amount of ads on his website, I can not help but like Perez Hilton. Sorry. He makes interesting points, finds out about stuff first, insults himself just as much as he does any celebrity on his site, and lets all the hate comments stand. You have to respect that.

I had read about Gerard's marriage before he posted the news and pictures when my friend Danielle sent me the link.

If you were to ask me a few weeks ago what my response would be if Gerard was caught on camera making out with a chick, then married her a couple weeks later, I would have probably said I'd be shocked, excited, interested, ready to defend the girl to all the hate she would get, and would search for every detail on the wedding. It would probably be headline of the week for me.

So, when this happened, I was shocked. Not because of the news. But because I was not feelng all the things I thought I would over this. It took me a few minutes, and I realized why.

I'm sort of tired of Gerard-Love Intrigue.

I guess all the Eliza stuff wore me out.

But, due to the shitstorm that I realize is probably just in the works right now and about to spill over, I have decided to address this.

So soon? I don't mean that they way you are thinking. From what I remember, there was no actual proof that it WAS INDEED ELIZA to whom he was engaged. Yes, there was a picture of them eating ice cream together. Yes she had been teasing us with the possibility that they were together for a long time. Yes she returned to buzznet with "taken for life" as her status. Yes she moved to LA at a strange time. Yes, there were those mysterious messages.

But Gerard never said he was engaged to Eliza. Neither did Eliza outright. How do we know it was not Lyn-Z and that Eliza was just using this while she could to get attention? Who knows?

My point is we know really very little. And yet, people are shocked about the news because he allegedly "just broke up with his fiance Eliza two months ago." But there is no proof. It was just all this gossip had been so ingrained people accepted it as fact. Maybe Lyn-Z and Gerard were engaged the entire time and broke up for a little while. Maybe they never broke up and he was misquoted. Maybe he lied about breaking off the engagement to make Eliza flee the net again. Maybe those messages are fake. Or maybe he did just dump her and then randomly decided to marry Lyn-Z. WE DON'T KNOW.

Or, what if, maybe they actually weren't married? What if those pics were just of a party? Maybe that was not a wedding at all, just an end-of-the-tour party? What if this is just a huge prank?

I mean, Mikey got married in a similar fashion, but there was news of it beforehand. He confirmed it. The whole band did. Alicia did.

We've heard nothing in this case from the involved parties.

Ah shit.

Okay, this is not what I meant to do. Let's get back to the idea that they are married. Forget Eliza. Let's just say they are married. No speculation. Let's just get with the news.

After Perez, the news was reported on Gigwise, dotmusic, contactmusic, entertainmentwise, NME.com, Rolling Stone, and a few other sources.

So they're married. What does this mean?

Some girls and boys will cry, have fits, and write hateful messages about Gerard, Lyn-Z, MCR, and MSI. They will whine about it nonstop and make up rumors. They will have problems.

But truly, it should not be that way.

Besides all the basic reasons that it is unsupportive, immature, pathetic, selfish, and dellusional.

But this also can be great news.

Gerard being married means he is off the market. Now instead of there being no chance of these girls and guys getting with them, the chances have reached the negative integers. No hope! Even if you added some hope, there would still be none! Nothing! Nada! Zip! Zilch!

But now everyone is FREE.

The boppers are forced to get over their pathetic obsessions and get on with their lives. They are no longer bound by this obsession! They can go off and do things!

Now gossip can relax! Less gossip is good!

We can focuss again on the music, the boys, and other aspects of all that unrelated to Gerard's romantic partner! That mystery is solved! We can go onto other things that are less offensive! Even less offensive gossip like, "When are they going to have kids?"

Things will become more interesting! That one brain-grasping, addictive topic is demolished!

We can get on with our lives!

Gerard does not have to be all secretive anymore! He will no longer have to worry about crushing another girl or guys' hopes because he has destroyed the last of the hope! Thank you! It's a win-win.

Seriously, how happy was anybody who was involved with this topic? I mean, if you had hopes? Constantly on the edge, thinking and plotting how you'd meet him, worrying you'd embarrass yourself, constantly hearing rumors that could mean your heart was about to be broken? Having it happened every two weeks so you're constantly on edge? Being obsessed and thinking of nothing else? Being embarrassed when people teased you about it, or the shame of hiding it? Or whatever it is you people do (I kind of got over that idea before I could build up enough enthusiasm to get to the obsessive point when I found out that Gerard not only was fourteen years my senior, but that he did not like the beach. I love the beach. Possibly even more than Gerard. Sorry. Jiggy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you would be. But my life, my love, and my lady is the sea.)?

It's all over!

Yes, your hopes are crushed, but now you've got the chance to realize that this really is not a big deal! Your heart is not truly broken! It's just a celebrity crush that did not happen!

And then, after you get over it, it will get better. Now, when you mentioned how you love MCR, you don't have to worry about being slammed down and embarrassed by some music-snob asshole who says you only listen to them in hopes that you will marry Gerard! Because, when he says that, you can affirm that you love them for just the music, not because you hope to marry Gerard, because he's already hitched! You just like the music! You can just go, "You idiot, if that were the case, I would not be here right now, saying I loved them, because Gerard Way is married. Therefore, Dumbass, if that were my reason for loving them, I would not love them anymore. Yet, despite him being married, I still love the band! It's about the music, you ignorant Retard."

And all you people deciding that you really don't like them anymore can fuck off. We don't want or need you. Go away.

And the rest of us don't have to deal with as many teenie comments annoying us or tarnishing the reputation of MCR fans. One less embarrassment.

So God Bless You, Gerard Way and Lyn-Z. Be together forever. Fuck much. Spend your lives in blissful monogamy and please, next time, shower before participating in any ceremony of that caliber.

PS: That's not wine, it's Sparkling Cidar you Retards. It's a bubbling, wine imitation which comes in a bottle that looks likea wine bottle. I've been drinking that shit since I was four. It's not alcoholic.

Okay, basically this is an assignment I did for creative writing. You did a sketch of yourself from any point of view you wanted.

--

She had been listening to her iPod this time. Last time she had been reading a paperback copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. I had seized upon that when we began our first appointment, but the conversation fell flat. Maybe this would be a more fruitful discussion.

Wendy has her brown hair tied back in a red lace ribbon today. It is a similar type of style of accessorie from her last visit. Then it had been fingerless gloves. I should note that she likes to wear interesting outfits. A byproduct, perhaps, of going to a uniform school and having a uniform job? I could imagine her having a bedroom with an impeccably organized closet, scarves folded and shoes lined up. But she has already told me in her introductory forms that she is a slob.

She has no interest in being here, another one of the things she told me. According to her, she has had several other "shrinks" and is, in her words, "sick of them." That was when the session fell silent.

As she walks in today, she seems preoccupied, as if she is eager to be doing something else somewhere else. It is an awkward situation.

"So," I say once she has taken a seat on the couch, "What were you listening to?"

"A mix playlist," she answers dully, picking at her nails. She does not want to be here.

"Of?" I say, determined not to give up.

"The Clash, Fleetwood Mac, Arcade Fire, Muse, Velvet Underground..." She says as she scrolls down the tiny screen. "Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham solo stuff, My Chemical Romance and The Cold War Kids."

I cling to the name I actually know, "Fleetwood Mac."

"I love Rumours."

She nods. "Tusk is my favorite."

"What do you like about it?"

She shrugs.

"Does it conjure any different emotions in you?" I ask in desperation.

She looks straight at me, her eyes narrow. "How long have you practiced?"

Oh Boy.

"One year. Why?"

Is that sympathy in her expression? Not good.

"'Silver Springs' makes me cry," she offers, seemingly out of mercy. "It sounds like a broken heart. But that song is on The Dance."

"Have you had your heart broken?" I ask. She looks at her fingernails, then looks at me.

"No. I've never gotten involved enough. Not even close. That can wait."

She answered all my prepared questions. Then she laughs.

"Not that I'd know that 'Silver Springs' is the sound of heartbreak then, I guess." Wendy says. "Not from experience, anyway."

She plays with the hem of her black shirt. She likes black, probably. Had she worn a black shirt last time? No, it had been green. Something about that shirt rang a bell in my head. What was it?

"You wore a shirt that said Muse on it last week," I said, inspired. "Did you get it at a concert?"

Her face is unreadable. "Yes, I saw them with My Chemical Romance when I got this shirt. I saw them again a few months later. Amazing. I wrote a review of it on my blog."

Was she throwing me a rope on purpose? I scan her solemn face. Her dark eyes are sad, but I catch a flash of satisfaction. She had. She feels in control.

"Are you upset, Wendy?" I ask, not taking it.

"No, I'm not. People always think I am, but I'm not."

I should have taken the rope. I drowned. The room falls silent.

-----

Eh?

Okay people so I know I'm not on as much. I have a reason. I started school last week and I've gotten into stride working at Best Buy. The distinction I've discovered between this and my last job is that working in such a big store requires me to work less, but work later, which has proved extremely tiring since I am now back to waking up at six a.m for school. Depending on how fast we close, I am staying at work until ten or eleven thirty p.m. I go to work at five. So while my work day is shorter due to school, it is harder and later. But I've since talk to my manager, so working past ten three school nights in a row should not be too often an occurrance.

I like my classes better this year. I have history again (Yay!) and my teacher seems more into going deeper and showing different aspects in relation to her subject. After three classes she has told me I have a wonderful knowledge of history and would love to have an in depth conversation with me, but please let her call on other people in class. I have creative writing as well, which at first I thought would be a disappointment but is turning out to be cool. We wrote character sketches of ourselves in whatever context or point of view we wanted. I'll post mine if I have the time later.

The people at work are fun and nice. Chemistry is already turning out to be to be a nightmare since my textbook has not come yet. But luckily my Algebra teacher this year is the same one I had in freshman year and I did well with her. English so far is a snore but as usual I've conned my teacher into believing that I actually did read the summer reading books as opposed to the Spark Notes. All I had to do is listen to the points others made on said book, couple it with what I know of the setting, and answer questions based on those two things. It's worked nicely.

I HAVE 10 SERVICE HOURS DUE BY OCTOBER 3RD! CRUEL!!!

Spanish is okay so far.

My character sketch is one in the point of view of a new therapist on our second appointment together. I am worried that the way I portray myself, in making the narrator such a sympathetic character, makes me come off as a shrewd, aloof bitch.

One thing nice about work: The store is right next to a Starbucks. Baristas are generally music nerds and there is one who, like me, loves Fleetwood Mac. And in the Barnes and Noble Music department, also right next to the store (is it wrong to work a day at Best Buy then promptly go and buy a CD in the music department of the adjoining book store?) there is a guy who officially thinks I am "great" because I bought a copy of MC5's "Kick Out The Jams." He literally said, "You're buying The MC5? You're great." and then made me listen to The Minute Men CD.

But I'm exhausted and hopefully work will lighten up. I do not usually do personal journals but I thought this time I would. My lunch hour is almost over so I have got to go.

Adios Muchachos.

Notsid

PS: My comments on Lily Allen getting a drink poured over her head onstage while people cheered is Hurray! And Thurston Moore dissing Avril Lavigne is merely reason #3247587435634983 to love Thurston Moore.