Dildohead & Noodleshitter > Douchebag

Ok, a lot of you are going to say I am ripping off Ashly or Sue with this post and maybe I am, I don't know, but I have to get this off my chest.

Recently browsing Perez Hilton with the same guilty feeling I always have when I look onto that site, I came across an post about how Teen Idols The Jonas Brothers "Made a promise to God to stay 'pure'" and not have sex until they are married. They wear rings to signify this and hope to "set a good example" by doing this.

Que sixty gazillion comments congratulating them on being good role models.

Pardon me, but I fail to see how practicing abstinence makes them good role models. Don't get me wrong, I don't look down upon people who wish to wait until they are married. If that's when you feel you will truly be ready, then I think that is what is best. For you.

(I'm not going to go into the whole "Britney said that too" thing because it's been said a dozen times before)

Here we come to a particular point in our discussion. What is right for one person is not what is right for someone else. There are people who are ready years before they get married and do it and live rich, happy fulfilling lives. It doesn't ruin their bodies, mess with their minds, or destroy their chances at romance. They simply gave in to one of their basic human needs. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that.

Now you see, when you call The Jonas Brothers role models for "saving themselves", that implies that abstinence is good for everyone and to act in a different manner is bad. THEY are doing the right thing, and so you should do it too, because it's what's right! Do what they are doing and you'll be doing the right thing!

See, people, sex is not bad. Really it's not. It's not bad outside of marriage either. All you need is trust, good intentions, consent, effort, complete awareness of your actions,  (in most cases) a condom and it's a good thing. Seriously. You don't need to get married if you're ready. There is no point in denying the natural urges God gave you for half your life so you can get a ring.

I hate to break this to you but we're designed to have sex and enjoy it. That's why it feels good. If we were not meant to have sex for anything other than procreation then a)we would not get any enjoyment out of it and b) Homosexuality would be nonexistant. And no, other than what some shoddy translations done by rigidly biased and bigoted scholars wrote down hundreds of years ago, there is no evidence that sex outside of marriage is impure. No, seriously, it's true.

Here is what the real problem is: The demonization of sexuality. Especially when it's female. Words like "slut", "whore", "skank" and "Hussy" are frequently used as insults toward women. Even if they don't have sex but are doing something flirty or provocative. People look down on it, shun women for it. Meanwhile, it's the same old story: Girl gets pregnant so she's the slut. Or a girl gets raped because she got a ride home from a guy while wearing a crop-top (Not because he was a soulless shithead who cares nothing for another person's happiness, health or rights as a human being, but because she was wearing a crop-top and got a ride home from him). A teenage girl commits the foul unforgivable act of kissing a boy so she must be stoned to death.

Am I exaggerating? Being overly dramatic?

No.

I'm not.

Because these things happen every day. The father of the pregnant girl's baby just could not help himself. The raped girl was asking for it. The dead girl shamed her family (Her brother might be a rapist or at least kisses  girls periodically, but he's just becoming a man).

Now, I'm not going to go on about the girl thing, but those are some examples of how idiotic society's views on sexuality are.

Even if you're a guy though, there is this lesson that too often gets impounded into our heads that sex is just wrong. If you have sex, you're doing something dirty, you're violating the temple that is your body, you're impure. And though this discretion will nine times out of ten be blamed on the girl, the boy still will get that feeling of being seduced and therefore now  unclean. 

OK, now here is how damaging this could be: The boy might feel angry and bitter towards the girl afterwards and blame it on her (this happens a lot in cases of accidental pregnancy, we know that), and thus gain an unhealthy and at least somewhat chauvanistic view towards women as a whole, which could ruin their chances at a good relationship and overall happiness. Or maybe they will descend into a pit of self-loathing over what they did. Or they could develop unhealthy sexual habits. Or maybe they could destroy their relationship with God. Or any combination of these things.

Now, here's where it gets tricky: Would this happen because the boy had sex? Or is it not really the sex but because he thinks he did something wrong?

If you ask me, if he and the people around him view sex as a crime, than he would not "blame" his partner but rather appreciate her for what they did because let's face it, she trusted him in such an intimate act and awakened those sort of sensations? That's quite a nice gesture. His views on women would probably be more respectful and he'd probably have more confidence in himself for being able to handle such a mature act. And hey, sex is officially another thing you can thnk God for.

Now, it must be said that you definitely do it when you're ready and also you be careful. Just because it's not evil does not mean it should not be handled with care. And maybe you're not up to it until you walk down the aisle. That's fine.

And let's face it: promiscuity probably isn't a good idea. With tons of diseases out there you should take some care when picking your partners. And unwanted pregnancies are not good either. But the answer to that is not "So don't have sex" it's "Be careful and use a condom."

But you see, whether The Jonas Brothers made their decisions to remain abstinent based on instilled beliefs that sex is somehow dirty or based on their own comfort levels, staying abstinent does not make them role models (They should not be considered role models anyway for reasons I covered in my blog on Miley Cyrus).  Because what's right for them is not what's right for everyone else and to view it as such only achieves the wrong ends.