Dildohead & Noodleshitter > Douchebag's Blog

if I hear one more thing on any blog, E! News Episode, or rsee another magazine cover about Kim fucking Kardashian and her stupid fake marriage, I am going to hurt someone. OF COURSE HER MARRIAGE WAS FUCKING FAKE YOU IDIOTS. KIM KARDASHIAN HAS THE EMOTIONAL DEPTH OF A TOOTHPICK. YOU ALL FUCKING DESERVE TO HAVE BEEN PLAYED. YOU MADE HER INTO AN EMPIRE AND FOR WHAT? SHE SCAMMED EVERYONE BECAUSE THERE WERE ENOUGH PEOPLE DUMBER THAN SHE IS WILLING TO WATCH HER STUPID WEDDING SPECIAL. BECAUSE WE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE US KIM KARDASHIAN WHEN PRIOR GENERATIONS GAVE US ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. IN FACT, THAT'S WHO SHOULD BE IN THE MEDIA INSTEAD OF KIM KARDASHIAN. ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR ALMOST FIFTY YEARS, SHE IS STILL, IN HER GRAVE, CONTRIBUTING MORE TO SOCIETY THAN KIM KARDASHIAN. WHEN SHE WAS FIRST LADY, SHE WAS THE WOMAN IN THE MEDIA EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT. NOT BECAUSE SHE HAD A NICE ASS AND A SEX TAPE. BECAUSE SHE WAS OUT THERE COMFORTING POVERTY-STRICKEN CITIZENS, PROMOTING CIVIL RIGHTS AND DRAFTING THE INTERNATIONAL STATUTE FOR HUMAN RIGHTS. BUT WHENEVER SOMEONE MENTIONS HER THESE DAYS ALL THEY MENTION IS SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LESBIAN AND WAS UGLY. WELL GUESS WHAT? KIM KARDASHIAN IS GORGEOUS AND MIGHT HAVE BEEN ATTRACTED TO A GUY SHE WAS PRETENDING TO MARRY. HAPPY? MAYBE BEING HOT AND STRAIGHT ISN'T EVERYTHING. And if I hear any more about this Marilyn Monroe revival shit, I will go on a rampage and destroy every DVD copy of Gentlemen Prefer Blonds in existence. I get it, Vogue, TMZ, every media outlet out there. Marilyn Monroe was beautiful, messed up, died from an overdose and read books. Michelle Williams is playing her in a movie and being her is Lindsay Lohan's newest crack delusion. I am so sick of this Marilyn Monroe bullshit. Why is she the vintage chick who's getting a revival when women like Bette Davis and Katharine Hepburn existed? You know, actual Hollywood success stories who actually broke boundaries and set new standards for the art of acting (which are now being trashed). The only truly great American woman who is allowed to be promoted by the media these days is Gabrielle Giffords. And in a couple of months, most people will have forgotten her name because she doesn't have a reality show. Well, thanks Gen-Y. I hope you enjoy Courtney Stodden's reality show and the next six Transformers movies.

ELEANOR FUCKING ROOSEVELT. EVEN AS A CORPSE SHE IS BETTER THAN KIM KARDASHIAN, MARILYN MONROE AND YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. ALSO BETTER THAN JESUS.

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Create your own Phyllis Schlafly speech!

This is from a great article on Jezebel about anti-feminist conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly. It was written by Morning Gloria and in it, you can create your own Phyllis Schlafly speech. For those of you who don't know who Phyllis Schlafly is, here's her wikipedia article. She's a batshit-insane hypocrite who has worked tirelessly to keep women from working and pursued power to insure that women never become powerful. Among her most famous quotes are "By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape", "Driver's licenses are a crucial national security issue", "It is long overdue for parents to realize they have the right and duty to protect our children against the intolerant evolutionists", "Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortion" and "It's very healthy for a young girl to be deterred from promiscuity by fear of contracting a painful, incurable disease, or cervical cancer, or sterility, or the likelihood of giving birth to a dead, blind, or brain-damage [sic] baby even ten years later when she may be happily married." Article:

Phyllis Schlafly is the lady Michael Jordan of hypocrisy. If there were such thing as specialized footwear worn by sayers of one thing and doers of another, they'd surely be called the Air SclaFLY and they'd be heavily advertised on Fox News. Throughout her illustrious career of growing famous and powerful by telling other women that they cannot be powerful, working full time to tell women that they should not work full time, she's said a lot of whiplash-givingly stupid things (including a turn at CPAC this past week), but a lot of those stupid things follow a fairly predictable pattern. Scientists have recently cracked The Schlafly Code, and now, for the first time, you can make your own Phyllis Schlafly speech.

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First, I'd like to thank my husband for allowing me to be here today. Good evening friends. I feel very (positive adjective) that I have the opportunity to come here to discuss what's (negative adjective) about feminism, that feminists are literally (violent verb)ing their children every day when they insist that men and women are equal. Feminism is the enemy of (values/God/decency/pie/cake/unicorns/babies/law) and to suggest that feminism is good for women is to suggest the very foundation of our (values/God/decency/pie/cake/unicorns/babies/law) is flawed, that our Founding Fathers didn't know what they were doing.

Feminism is (antiquated slang for "bad," like "hooey" or "poppycock"). It equates women with (barnyard animal) and it teaches our young girls that they should grow up (things that a barnyard animal does) and that this is okay. Across our great nation, women everywhere are demanding child support payments, suing business owners for sexual harassment, and demanding to fight alongside men in the military. Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women. Women who are sexually harassed have been (sexual verb)ing themselves by insisting they be treated like men. Child support actually harms children, because everyone knows that when you give kids money, they just buy (something crappy a kid would buy with money) with it. It also traps men into being forever bound to a woman who (tricked/deceived/magicked) them into believing they'd have access to their child. Women should not fight in the military, because that's unladylike.

Another problem caused by feminism is the proliferation of free public education in this country. Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions. Education is the (villain/enemy/Deceptacon) of freedom and love. College professors will tell you that (something that isn't having babies) is okay, and professors are wrong. Professors hate America, and public education in this country is the biggest racket since (historical debacle). They will tell you that God doesn't exist and that the way to live life is to (hedonistic behavior) all over the place, but that doesn't lead to happiness. What leads to happiness is good, Christian (verb)ing.

The greatest menace to our country besides feminism is illegal immigration. We have to secure the borders from the (nationality, plural). (Democratic politician) wants to allow (nationality, plural) to (violent crime) our children, and we have to stand up to the PC movement that's (hijacking/stealing/exploiting/donkey punching/literally burning alive) our values and our freedom to criticize liberal ideas like feminism, teaching of evolution in schools, and Sesame Street Muppets, especially (Sesame Street Muppet).

Feminism leads to more money, education, and power for women, but less happiness. Conservative women are the most liberated women in America, because of (wisdom/love/protection/Stockholm Syndrome) and we should be the sources of inspiration, not (feminists/pinkos/commies/liberals/slutterflies/whorey whorepants mcwhores/atheists/owhers of cats/those with baron wombs). I am defending the real rights of woman. A woman should have the right to stay home as a wife and mother. Not (exactly what Phyllis Schlafly has spent her career doing).

Special Bonus: Can you pick out the actual Phyllis Schlafly quotes?

My Madlib:

First, I'd like to thank my husband, Anne Coulter, for allowing me to be here today. Good evening friends. I feel very aroused about the fact that I have the opportunity to come here to discuss what's stinky about feminism, that feminists are literally water-boarding, I mean, interrogating their children every day when they insist that men and women are equal. Feminism is the enemy of Disney Princesses (except Mulan, who sucks in that way that isn't the good please your husband way that is the duty of every woman) and to suggest that feminism is good for women is to suggest the very foundation of our Washington Monument is flawed, that our Founding Fathers, like John Adams, who so rightly reminded his uppity shrew-wife of her place, didn't know what they were doing!

Feminism is bullpucky. It equates women with cows and it teaches our young girls that they should grow up being milked and that this is okay, what we should be doing is equating women with hens, so that they grow up to lay lots of eggs. Across our great nation, women everywhere are demanding child support payments, suing business owners for sexual harassment, and demanding to fight alongside men in the military. Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women. Women who are sexually harassed have been masturbating themselves by insisting they be treated like men. Child support actually harms children, because everyone knows that when you give kids money, they just buy Justin Bieber CDs with it. It also traps men into being forever bound to a woman who inceptioned them into believing they'd have access to their child. Women should not fight in the military, because that's unladylike.

Another problem caused by feminism is the proliferation of free public education in this country. Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions. Education is the Brutus of freedom and love. College professors will tell you that working is okay, and professors are wrong. Professors hate America, and public education in this country is the biggest racket since that time they kept those "civil wrongs" activists from getting free showers from those hoses. They will tell you that God doesn't exist and that the way to live life is to dance to Lady Gaga songs all over the place, but that doesn't lead to happiness. What leads to happiness is good, Christian use of the Rhythm Method and anal.

The greatest menace to our country besides feminism is illegal immigration. We have to secure the borders from the Mexicans. Joe Biden wants to allow Mexicans to mug our children and rob them of that money they got from those child support payments; because as we all know, child support is just a conspiracy to fund Mexican things like tacos and burritos and sombreros and all things ending in "O". We have to stand up to the PC movement that's gaying up our values and our freedom to criticize liberal ideas like feminism, teaching of evolution in schools, and Sesame Street Muppets, especially Burt and Ernie.

Feminism leads to more money, education, and power for women, but less happiness. Conservative women are the most liberated women in America, because of vagina avoidance and we should be the sources of inspiration, not chicks like Oprah. I am defending the real rights of woman. A woman should have the right to stay home as a wife and mother. Not working, going to law school, writing books and campaigning as a political and social activist.

Make your own!

It all starts with two words.

Bristol Palin.

What does that name mean to us? Well, if you’re American, you know she’s the eldest daughter of former Alaskan Governor and Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin who, at the age of seventeen, became pregnant by her boyfriend Levi Johnston and had a baby boy. The media circus over her pregnancy continued after she and Johnston broke off their engagement and Johnston went on a Press Tour bad-mouthing the Palins, trying to get a reality show, and posing for soft-core porn magazine Playgirl. The media interest in Bristol and Levi was brought up again when the two shocked the world by announcing that they were re-engaged and, a few weeks later, that Bristol was “done with Levi.”

Nice to know these people are consistent.

Now, I want to make it very clear before I go any further, that this is not a political rant, but a social one. The opinions I express here have nothing to do with my opinion of Sarah Palin, her policies, or the Republican party. This isn’t even so much about Bristol as much as it is about what she, and certain other people, represent. She’s just the example I happen to be starting with.

Think about this for a second: If Bristol Palin had not gotten pregnant, engaged and re-engaged, would we really know anything about her or pay any attention to her? If not for the fact that she is a teen mother, all anyone would think of when her name was brought up would be “one of Sarah Palin’s unfortunately named kids.” The image of her we would have, if any, would be of a pretty young woman waving at the crowds at the RNC next to her mother. But that’s not the image we have of her. Instead, reality is quite different. For example:

This isn't the only time Bristol Palin has appeared on the cover of a celebrity tabloid, but it is probably the most notable. And this isn’t the only way she’s made her way into popular media. She also had a guest-spot on the ABC Family Series The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Even more interesting is the fact that several months ago, Palin also embarked on a speaking tour where she was paid between $15,000-$30,000 to talk to teenage girls about sex, abstinence, and life overall. I’ll tackle that last part first since the other things are tied in with other examples.

People have paid Bristol Palin money to give teenage girls advice. For anybody who is currently in too much of a state of horrified shock to properly assemble all the reasons this fact is highly disturbing in their heads, I have come up with:

A LIST OF REASONS THAT BRISTOL PALIN SHOULD NOT BE PAID TO SPEAK TO TEENAGERS

Reason #1 Bristol Palin Should Not Be Paid to Speak to Teenagers: All She is Known For is Making Horrible Decisions

It's bad enough that this girl fulfilled one of the ultimate parental nightmares by procreating before her high school graduation. But that's not the only stupid thing Bristol Palin has done. We could start with the fact that once news of her pregnancy became public, the Palins wasted no time in also announcing that she and Baby-Daddy Levi Johnston planned to engage in what is commonly referred to as a "Shotgun wedding." As most people with enough sanity to not be institutionalized could tell you, this is not 1951. As we know now from years of history, marrying your high school sweetheart because he knocked you up is a VERY BAD IDEA.

Basically, it spells misery for the next chunk of your life because you’re entering a marriage simply to help salvage your reputation. And it almost always ends badly.

Luckily, it seems at some point Palin realized this, and broke it off, marking the rare occurrence within her time as a public figure that she seemed to have made a rational decision. After this, her former fiancé, as I mentioned before, embarked on a press tour where he bad-mouthed her family and revealed details of his and Bristol’s sex life.

Call me crazy, but he doesn’t seem like much of a catch. The fact that this girl chose to date him in the first place doesn’t exactly say much good about her taste in men.

But that’s a little unfair. Even adults date losers. That I could definitely forgive. So maybe I’m being too hard on this chick. She obviously just found herself in a ridiculous situation in front of the public eye and didn’t know what to do. It’s very understandable. She obviously realized just how big a douche this guy really was before we all did and dumped him accordingly. She dodged a bullet. She learned from her mistakes and can move on now. Except...

Oy vey.

I really don't know where to start. I mean, do I even have to explain this one?

Bristol, just a question, have you completely lost your mind or was it never there to begin with?

Don't worry, I'm sure your Mom felt very accepting when she found out by passing by the magazine rack at the supermarket.

In shocking news that shocked nobody, a few weeks ago Bristol announced in People that she's done with Johnston for good. Well, after that cover, I have a hard time believing the "for good" part.

Sorry, but it's one thing to make mistakes. It's quite another to try and repeat them in the worst way.

Also, despite the fact that she has all the resources in the world, Bristol Palin isn't attending college now.

Now do you all see my point?

Reason #2 Bristol Palin Should Not Be Paid to Speak to Teenagers: Her Experiences Are Nothing Close to What the Average Teen Mom Has to Deal With

I know what some people are thinking. "What she has to say to teenagers is valuable because she knows what can happen! She's been there! She can warn girls from experience!"

I have two answers for that, each of them get  their own place on the list. The first is that Bristol Palin's life isn't like most teen moms. After the election, her mother went on to make a fortune through a book deal, speaking engagements, press appearances, and as a Fox news Contributor. The Palins prior to this weren't exactly poor before hand. Most teen moms? Not so lucky. They don't have rich, powerful mothers to support them, or opportunities to go earn five figures to speak to people for seven minutes. Quite a few of them are forced to drop out of high school to work a minimum wage job to support their child. Also? Believe it or not, the instances of parents kicking their teenage daughters out the house for becoming pregnant isn't just something that happened in the sixties or a plot point on Glee. It's still all too common. And also? Most teen moms don't have major news publications paying you for interviews. She can't provide a decent warning because her circumstances are pretty much beyond the best that any pregnant teenager could hope for. She doesn't have a clue. And obviously, her family is willing to hire a nanny or take care of her son while she goes on speech tours. Most families? Not so much.

Reason #3 Bristol Palin Should Not Be Paid to Speak to Teenagers: She Has Not Accomplished Anything

Really. I mean, think about it. Her greatest accomplishment so far has been graduating High School.

That's it.

This is my second response to the, "She knows what it's like!" Argument.

Look, I have no problem with people who had children when they were teens talking to kids, but the fact is that I'd at least like them to have made something out of their lives in spite of that. Give me a thirty-five year old woman who had a kid at fifteen, managed to finish high school and go onto college while trying to raise her kid, went on to have a successful career, raise the kid right, was able to support him/her, met someone and now has a happy family life. That's someone who has something of value to talk about. Bristol Palin hasn't done any of these things. And, I'm sorry, when your message doesn't have anything positive to it, that's called using scare tactics. That's the same thing we do when talking to kids about drugs and well, do I really have to point out the obvious here?

She doesn't have any achievements to her name at all. She got lucky.

Bristol Palin is in no way a success story.

Reason #4 Bristol Palin Should Not Be Paid to Speak to Teenagers: It Sends the Message That She's Some Sort of Role Model Because She Had a Child When She Was In High School

Seriously, think about this for a second.  Instead of having a teenage girl who excelled in school, does charity work, etc talk to teen girls, we'd rather have them listen to advice from a girl famous for procreating irresponsibly and having a famous mother. Sorry, but speaking engagements? We're glorifying her for committing one of the most notorious blunders associated with being a teenager. Nice.

That last reason is really what this whole thing is all about: The Glorification of People, particularly women and girls, for procreating, even if they do so irresponsibly. Very, very irresponsibly.

Right. Here we have, once again, another rich, privileged girl with famous relatives who got pregnant and is now imparting her "wisdom" on the world in which the best feeling is being a mom.

Okay, if you're a grown woman who has just had or adopted a child on your own terms, then yes, being a mom is the best feeling in the world. But if you're a teenager? Not so much.

I'm not saying teen moms shouldn't love their kids. Of course they should love the shit out of them. Even if I thought otherwise, it wouldn't matter since they would anyway.

But that intense love that mothers feel for their children is actually kind of the reason that, when you're a teenager, being a mom should not be "the best feeling in the world!"

Because eventually the realization comes that as a teenager, you can't give this child you love so much the life you want him or her to have. That's the reality. Jamie Lynn Spears doesn't live in the real world. But the message she is sending out is that that her situation is something wonderful.

And the thing is, Jamie Lynn Spears' public image was never higher than when she announced she was pregnant and when she came out with this cover. Before that, she was Britney's kid sister who had a show on Nickelodeon. But suddenly, she procreates, and she gets more attention and public interest than ever. She's a huge celebrity now because she became a teen mom.

But it's not just teenagers, of course. I don't think the glorification of irresponsible procreation is better epitomized by anything other than the following images.

And, the cream of the crap:

Sorry about that. I really am.

If you don't recognize this person, then you either live a) in a cave or b) a much more fulfilling life than I do.

We have made a celebrity out of a woman because she gave birth to eight more babies to add to the brood of six she already had. She has no partner, no job, no money, no education, no talents and her face is the type they show pictures of with the caption, "When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong."

But she's on the cover of a tabloid giving dieting tips basically because she purposely had as many children as she could in order to get attention.

All three of these women have been put on glossy covers with their hair and make-up done right next to Rihanna and Jennifer Aniston because they had children under all the wrong circumstances. In fact, they get to be the main cover as opposed to Jennifer Aniston and Rihanna because apparently the fact that they've reproduced under the worst circumstances make them more important.

Bristol and Jamie Lynn had kids when they were teens, Nadya Suleman had fourteen children with no money, and for that, they are being given careers and fame.

What message do you think this is sending?

And, for good measure, here's another image:

Another couple who are famous simply because they had a gazillion kids. They have a hit reality show and are put on the cover of celebrity tabloids simply for pro-creating a lot.

It's been said over and over how sad it is that the people we hold up as idols, particularly when it comes to women, are celebrities who are simply known for living up to society's ideal of beauty and being in movies, being a model, or having a hit song. None of these things actually contribute productively to society in any way, but these are the people we idolize. This is true.

People thought sick, pathetic, idiotic celebrity worship had hit its zenith with the heyday of Paris Hilton since she had no talents. But I think this is worse.

Because now, not only are there female idols we're presented simply famous for conforming to Western Society's unrealistic standards of beauty, but we're also making celebrities out of women simply for either having children very young, or having too many children.

Think about this for a second. Prior to the twentieth century and even today in the undeveloped world, girls as young as twelve (and, in some countries even today, as young as eight) were married off, often to men several times their age. Basically in this period in history, women were valued for two things: their supposed "beauty" and their ability to bear children. Their ability to bear children was measured by two things: 1) How soon they became pregnant and 2) How many healthy children they had. For that, as well as being beautiful, women were idolized, held up as successful women, showered with attention. Women became well-known for their looks and their ability to bear children young and often. I haven't even touched on chastity (another time).

I hate to say it, but these magazines are what a lot of young women read. Not saying they don't read more important publications, but they also read a lot of tabloids. Let's face it, tabloid culture is marketed primarily to women. And apparently, what the people behind these tabloids believe is that the first women that their readers see when they look at their publications are women who embody society's standard of beauty, or have no achievements to their name aside from procreating often or at a young age. Sure, once in a while during election season you'll find an article about Hillary Clinton, but that's about it. Otherwise, it's mostly about a woman's looks, the man she happens to be attached to, or the fact that she's had children.

Maybe this might seem to be an inaccurate observation, but doesn't it seem like we're regressing?

http://static.texastribune.org/media/documents/FINAL_2010_STATE_REPUBL ICAN_PARTY_PLATFORM.pdf

Quote from this platform:

"We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases."

Question......

Ummmmmmm...... how?

HOW? HOW?! HOW?! HOW?! HOW?! EXPLAIN! YOU NEED TO HAVE A DECENT EXPLANATION FOR YOUR BELIEFS IF YOU WANT THEM TO BECOME LAW! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT HOMOSEXUALITY TEARS AT THE FABRIC OF SOCIETY AND THEN NOT EXPLAIN HOW IT DOES!!!!!!! IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!!! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BE LOGICAL?

But people, don't get too excited. A lot of crazy sh!t gets proposed for laws. There was a bill in congress that wanted to make it required that a woman report a death within three hours of her miscarriage to the police. It didn't get passed. And there are not enough douchey Texans and too many decent ones to let this become law.

I feel so sorry for all the decent Republicans and Texans out there who have these yokels representing them.

The MRI I had Wednesday says so!

So I was on fark.com, and I click on this link about model/astrphysicist Liv Boeree, who just won $1.7 million in a poker tournament. Usually, I like reading farker comments, but several of them got under my skin. Especially these:

"Impossible. Women like this do not exist. I'd sooner believe that she was an alien or a super advanced robot from the future."

"Shenanigans! There's no woman on Earth that perfect."

and my personal favorite:

"Holy crap. A girl that hot you could actually talk to."

My (irritated) response:

"I'm betting the guys here who are suggesting that a woman who is highly intelligent, cool and beautiful can't possibly exist probably think that way because they're the type of losers that no brilliant hot chick would waste their time talking to.

Yes, this woman is highly accomplished. FOR ANYONE. EVEN A MAN. And there are lots of women out there like her. Stop acting like a woman can't be both smart and beautiful. It's not like 99.9% of us are either smart, beautiful, or neither and only .1% of us can be both. If there was a story about a brilliant, gorgeous guy and I said something like "Smart AND Hot, wow!" "There's no way a man like this could exist" or "Wow, a dude that hot you could actually talk to!", wouldn't that be insulting to men?

Any person can be stunning and have an IQ in the ionosphere, regardless or their sex and/or gender (and yes, sex and gender are two different things)."

Now maybe that was a bit of a rant for a fark comment, but I do think I have a point. Why is it when people say that "God doesn't give with both hands", they're usually talking about a woman? And since when is God(dess) limited to having only two hands?

And she rides a lion over blue Gods holding swords. I'm sure if she can do that, she is cranking out women who are stunning, brilliant and cool by the millions.

WWERD?

What Would Eleanor Roosevelt Do?

Seriously? Defending a child rapist? Who cares if he's not raping now? He drugged and raped a 13-year-old girl in the 70's and that sort of thing shouldn't go unpunished, no matter how old he is or what his family life is like now.

According to Us Weekly, the rock goddess, the  Queen of Rock and Roll and Welsh Witch will be singing at the Grammys!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!!!!! I might actually watch the Grammys this year!!!

YEAH!

My sister, Ms. Sarah Katherine Weissman, Esq. got engaged to Benjamin Anderson, Esq. last Saturday!!!!!!

The two met years ago in Law School. Ben was and is the sweetest guy on Earth and did things like wait in line to get my sister a coffee at Starbucks and stuff like that. He watches her sick dog when she's away and looks after her. He absolutely dotes on her and treats her better than any boyfriend/fiance I've ever heard of. And he puts up with our family!

He's got a great, big family filled with cool people and his parents are awesome (I've met them). He's also able to keep up with my awesome sister and appreciates strong women. And he's a southern gentleman!!!! (He's the type of Southerner who, unlike the hicks you usually hear about, is extremely sophisticated and cool).

I AM SO THRILLED!

I HAVE A BROTHER NOW!!!!!

They are absolutely perfect for each other and make a great couple and I know they'll have the happiest marriage ever!!!! I couldn't have hoped for better for my sister, the future Sarah Weissman Anderson!!!!